Exploring the Commodore 64 - Part 1

As retro gamers, we, by our very definition, have been playing games a long time. During this time, only the most privileged of us had the luxury of access to most or all of the systems available. Most of us had to make do with just one at a time, and often not even the system of our choice either. I didn't really know much about home computers when my parents bought me a ZX Spectrum for Christmas but luckily it turned out they had made a good choice.

I soon discovered that some of my friends also owned Spectrums, including one of my best friends, Stu. A couple of my other friends owned Amstrad CPC's, including my other best mate, Luke. I did not, however, know anyone who owned a Commodore 64 which, looking back, is pretty strange! Not long after becoming a Speccy owner I also somewhat predictably became a Speccy fanboy and began looking upon the C64 as an inferior rival machine, something which the lack of any C64-owning friends made worse. As a result of this, I have to this day not played any C64 games! As you might imagine, as a self-professed retro gamer, this is an entirely unacceptable state of affairs! To this end, I have decided that I must immerse myself in the world of all the computers and consoles I missed the first time around due to having a rival machine, or for some other reason, and I will start with the much-loved Commodore 64.

My original idea was to ask my fellow Retro Gamer Forum members to vote for a single game that they felt best represented the old beige breadbin, and then do a detailed report on that, but I was soon besieged by many suggestions covering a great variety of genres. So, instead I will have a quick play of some of these titles and present my first impressions of both the games themselves, and the system generally, here in this series of features.

The first game I tried (and, historically for me, the first C64 game ever played) is:

Buggy Boy (1987)

This is one I've heard about ever since it first came out but never got around to playing on any system. I've long heard, however, that the C64 version is the best. So... the best version of a previously unplayed but highly regarded game... Seems like as good a place to start as any! In my experience, into-the-screen racers are rarely enjoyable on older systems so to find that this is an instantly accessible and playable game is all the more pleasing. As most of you will no doubt know, the game involves racing around each of the five courses to a fairly strict time limit. Driving through gates and collecting flags earns you points, whilst hitting any of the many objects that litter each course (such as rock, walls, barriers, etc) costs you valuable time. I've really enjoyed playing this highly-regarded classic. The graphics are a bit blocky (one of the things I used to use in my anti-C64 arguments!) but there's nice use of colours and it's great fun and very addictive. I'll definitely be returning to this one at some point. So, we're off to a good start!

Uridium (1986)

I think I played this very briefly on my Speccy but this represents my first go on it proper. It's a fairly unique game in that it's both a horizontal and vertical scrolling shooter! In other words, it's viewed from above but scrolls horizontally, and it's a little disorientating to start with. To be honest I found it really tough going - in addition to the odd viewpoint, it seems to be something of a trial and error game with seemingly unassuming ground objects causing death but others not. After quite a bit of practise however, I made some progress, as you can see from the screenshot! Graphically I found it a bit drab and I don't like the sprite for the ship you control (the 'Manta'), but the music and sound effects are pretty good. It's very addictive too - it's one of those shmups that's tough but one that you're determined to do well at. Another good one then, and one I'll be playing again. Having said that, I can't imagine I'll be seeing all fifteen levels any time soon!

Impossible Mission (1984)

I actually had (and still have) this on my good old Master System, so this version is actually a slight step down for me. However, it and its sequel are most famous as C64 games so I thought I'd give this version a go too. Running and jumping around the multi-platformed complex of Professor Elvin Atombender remains as playable and addictive as it ever was and I can see why this version was so popular. Control over your athletic avatar is as precise as you would expect and, after some practise, some pretty lengthy sessions can be enjoyed. However, the problem that I experienced in the MS version is also a problem here - those bloody puzzles! I was never much cop at them and I'm still flummoxed! A timeless classic though, to be sure.

Rescue On Fractalus! (1985)

Whilst I had heard of this game, I really didn't have a clue what to expect, so after loading it and flying aimlessly around the jagged landscape for a while, I figured I'd better try to find out how to play it. A brief period of research later and I actually made some progress! Apparently the goal is to fly around looking for downed pilots and rescue them. Of course, there's more to it than that - you have to actually land your craft near the pilots, cut the power, wait until they run over, then let them in before they die in the poisonous atmosphere whilst lots of mountain-top guns try to stop you! I enjoyed getting the hang of this one and was particularly proud of myself when I rescued my first pilot, but I still found it to be a bit aimless - I was flying around for about 10 minutes without finding a pilot at one point. Still, perseverance will no doubt pay dividends and persevere I will.

Enforcer (1992)

After having this one recommended I was surprised to see how late it was released. I was well into blasting away on my MegaDrive by this point so it's little wonder I've never heard of it. If I had played it during that period though, I'm not sure it would've been a huge step down - this is impressive stuff! Clearly taking its inspiration from other classic shmups, notably R-Type, this game really shows what the C64 is capable of. Featuring fast, numerous sprites, both decent in-game music and sound effects (even the Amiga rarely had this!), silky smooth scrolling, and plenty of challenging, addictive shooting action. On first impressions at least, this is the best shmup I've played on any 8-bit computer.

So, after playing my first five C64 games, I'm now starting to get a good idea of what the system was like. First impressions are excellent but I'm not finished yet! I'll play a few more yet before giving my final verdict on the classic micro, so look out for the next five!

Exploring the Commodore 64 - Part 2

Music #2 - Dressy Bessy

Aside from the false start prompted by the accidental discovery of a song I liked, welcome to my music section proper! Here I will pay tribute to bands/singers that I like, and in the instances where they are not particularly well know, hopefully increase their exposure a little too! The first recipient of this honour is one I discovered under somewhat dubious circumstances...

It was a good few years ago now that I accidentally discovered the amusing comedy film, But I'm A Cheerleader. It's an unusual but funny film which I may cover in more detail here at a later date. However, among its more notable points is the fantastic soundtrack it features. I liked a lot of its songs, but two in particular stuck with me. After a bit of investigation I discovered the band responsible.

Original lineup, from L-R: Rob, Darren, Tammy, John

Hailing from Denver, Colorado, the curiously-named Dressy Bessy are an indie-pop/rock four-piece originally formed in 1996 by lead vocalist and guitarist, Tammy Ealom, bassist, Rob Greene, and drummer, Darren Albert, and before long they were joined by second guitarist and childhood friend of Rob's, John Hill. Around a year later and they had already released their first single, 'Ultra Vivid Color', produced by John prior to joining the band. The next couple of years, along with no doubt lots of touring, saw two more singles - 'You Stand Here' and 'Sunny'. Soon after that came their first full length album. It was called 'Pink Hearts Yellow Moons' and it was from this catchy CD that the songs 'Just Like Henry' and 'If You Should Try To Kiss Her' were taken for the aforementioned But I'm A Cheerleader soundtrack.

DB circa 2005, from L-R: Tammy, John, Rob, Craig

Buoyed by the success of their critically acclaimed debut album (“about as perfect as pop records come - fuzzy, buoyant, and ridiculously catchy” - allmusic), the band soon released a follow up EP, California, to tide their new fans over until the full-length follow-up was ready. Released in 2002, 'Sound Go Round' built upon the catchy melodies and harmonies of their debut and added a slightly more diverse style, perhaps most prevalent in the dreamy "Flower Jargon" ("bouncy, melodic, and uplifting, Sound Go Round is good, clean fun" - allmusic). In the next year of what was a busy period for the band, they released the self-titled third album, which incorporated a harder guitar sound, but proved just as popular as its predecessors ("it is hard to argue with an album as pure and true as this" - allmusic) and they also unveiled their first compilation album entitled 'Little Music: Singles 1997 - 2002' which featured singles, b-sides and other rarities.

After what must've been a hectic period for them, the band took a little time off before returning in 2005 with their most ambitious offering to date, the darker 'Electrified'. This new album was the first to benefit from the higher production quality of their new big-label studio and has a noticably more 'professional' feel. Whilst expanding upon their new, harder sound, the album was their darkest yet, straying into pop-punk territory at times with songs like "Side 2" and "Call It Even Later" and it ended up being their most critically lauded release to date ("Dressy Bessy are as pure and true as ever"). After a fairly prolific opening few years of their careers, it would be three long years before the next record appeared.

The most recent release from Dressy Bessy was 2008's 'Holler and Stomp', a more eclectic album than their previous ones but no less enjoyable to listen to. With their next album currently underway, the future looks bright for this energetic band, and for Tammy herself whose artistic aspirations extend beyond the musical. Very much the front-person, she has been the principal song writer since the band's third album and has designed all the band's album covers. She is also a keen photographer whose plentiful work is in keeping with her unique, 60's-influenced style. It is Dressy Bessy, named after a 70's Playskool doll, incidentally, that offers the easiest insight into Tammy's creative ways, however, and it is the project she pursues the most enthusiastically.

Dressy Bessy still reside in Denver and are superstars back there, but they have rarely ventured over this side of the pond (although I've been campaigning for a return!). Since the first day I discovered them I've been hooked on their music. Their brand of jangly-guitar-based indie/rock is infectious beyond belief and Tammy's distinctive voice and the effortless energy with which their music flows can put a smile on the face no matter the mood. I'm not sure who it's aimed at and I don't know what their typical fanbase is, but I'm confident it's probably not people like me! But I don't care, quite honestly. After growing up with a record-collecting father, Tammy's musical influences are broad, much like my own, so their style is always evolving. I for one will be watching (or rather listening) for future, no doubt equally interesting and diverse projects with great interest.

Sample "Side 2", the opening track from 'Electrified' thus:

	Dressy Bessy - Side 2 .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Scrolling Fighting Games #2

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1989)
By: Konami Genre: Fighting Players: 1-4 Difficulty: Medium
Featured Version: Arcade
Also Available For: NES, PC, Amiga, Atari ST, C64, Amstrad CPC, ZX Spectrum
Download For: Xbox 360 Live Arcade

I was in my early teens around the time the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles phenomenon hit the world and it confused me. Ninjas are cool, sure, everyone knows that. But ninja turtles? I thought they were stupid. Turtles can't even hold any weapons, they have flippers! I couldn't stand how popular they were. Even my best mate, Luke, liked them! Oh well, they were engrained into popular culture, there was nothing I could do about it. Of course, various games based on their exploits followed. Some were good, others weren't. As I remember it, the most popular one was the arcade offering from Konami, but it wasn't until a recent Luke visit that I actually played this game for the first time ever. Did it suck as much as the stupid characters it was based on, or was it actually half decent?

At no point does a fireman turn up...

The story is pretty much the same as every other scrolling fighter - someone gets kidnapped, you (and possibly a friend) have to rescue them. In this case, villianous master ninja, Shredder, leader of the nefarious Foot Clan... umm... clan, has kidnapped buxom news reporter and friend to the Turtles, April. Just for good measure they then also kidnap the Turtles rat sensei, Splinter. It's then up to you to battle through the Foot Clan's ranks and rescue April and Splinter before they do questionable things to them. First step: choose a turtle to play as. Their leader, Leonardo, is armed with two Katana swords, Michelangelo uses nunchaku's, Donatello is equipped with a bo staff, and Raphael makes use of a pair of sai's. Each of the Turtles has slightly differing attributes such as speed, reach of weapon, etc.

One at a time guys, one at a time...

The Foot Clan themselves comprise a majority of the Turtles' enemies through the game. They all look the same aside from the colour of their hoods and trousers, with the colour denoting their method of attack. Some of them carry big hammers, some of them throw dynamite, some can grab you from behind, others just punch and kick. They are joined on the odd occasion by robots. Having never really watched the TMNT show, I can't really say if robots featured in it, but there's a few of them here and they're generally a mere nuisance rather than being formidable opponents, although some of them do possess the ability to hit you with an electric whip! The various bosses are taken from the show however, and include Bebop and Rocksteady (an agressive pig and rhino respectively), Dr Baxter Stockman (a mad scientist type), Lieutenant Granitor, General Traag, Krang (a small alien with a bumbling humanoid suit), and Shredder himself.

Yeah, cheers, that's really fair...

There are five stages, or scenes, to battle through here, covering such ground as an office block, city streets, sewers, and of course the Technodrome itself (the base of Krang and Shredder). Some of the stages are also split into several sections each too, and the Turtles even face a fast-scrolling section on skateboards at one point, taking on similarly equipped Foot Clan hoodlums and even missile-launching helicoptor gunships! There's a pretty nice variety between the stages, graphically speaking, and there's some decent static cut scenes between stages too. As mentioned earlier, a large percentage of the enemy sprites look the same except for differences in colour, and the animation on all sprites is fairly unremarkable, but it's certainly not a horrible game to look at by any means. As far as the audio is concerned, I personally found it pretty annoying, what with the Turtles theme tune featuring prominently in different forms and various catchphrases from the show, but I'm sure it would be appreciated by fans.

Yes, my 'Turtle' is under that series of explosions...

The only problem this game has really is one that is so common within the genre - a lack of offensive moves. There is just an attack and jump button here which kind of limits how many manoeuvres you can perform, although you can press them both together for a (pretty unspectacular) special move. As mentioned though, there's not many scrolling fighters that do have a sizeable roster of moves so it's not too much of a problem, and the game does have an ace up its sleeve though - simultaneous four-player action! I guess it would be weird to create a games based on a team of four and not allow them to fight together, so kudos to Konami for incorporating it. I haven't personally played the game in four-player mode but I can imagine, whilst being a bit chaotic and cluttered, it's probably a truckload of fun too.

Aarrrggghhh!

So, given my dislike of the subject matter, it's a little annoying to find that this is a pretty decent quality scrolling fighter, and that in itself makes it a precious commodity, especially when you take into account the four-player mayhem it offers! It has its faults, and I'm sure fans will enjoy it more than I did, but it's a solidly playable effort - entertaining in short bursts for a solo player, great fun with multiple players.

RKS Score: 7/10

Film Review #10

Vantage Point (2008)
Director:Pete Travis Starring: Dennis Quaid, Matthew Fox, Forest Whitaker, Eduardo Noriega, Bruce McGill, Sigourney Weaver, Edgar Ramiez, Said Taghmaoui, Richard T. Jones, Zoe Saldana, William Hurt

Certificate: 12 Running Time:90 Minutes

Tagline: "8 Strangers. 8 Points of View. 1 Truth"

He gets a lot of stick but it's a tough job being the US President. Everyone wants to shoot the guy for one thing, if good old Hollywood is to be believed at least! This particular President, Henry Ashton (Hurt) is in Salamanca, Spain, about to address a large crowd regarding the anti-terrorism treaty he's about to sign. Soon after he begins, someone, from somewhere, shoots him. In the midst of the ensuing panic, there are two explosions. Before and during these events, we are casually introduced to several people in and around the crowd who may have an interesting perspective on the unfolding chaotic situation. Some may have something to hide, some others may be able to help catch those responsible. It's up to Secret Service Agent, Thomas Barnes (Quaid), to work out which.

Barnes and Taylor patrol the podium...

The events leading up to and immediately after the gunshot and explosions are then replayed through the eyes of each of these people. First is TV news producer, Rex (Weaver), who is in her production room watching various cameras filming the events, trying to make sure she has all angles covered. Then, events rewind and we see them through Barnes himself as well as his Secret Service colleague, Kent Taylor (Fox) as they are rocked by the explosions and bedlam breaks loose. Next we see events unfold through Spanish cop, Enrique (Noriega), American tourist, Howard (Whitaker), and several others including the perpetrators themselves, before the timeline finally continues and Agent Barnes races to uncover the terrorists deeper plot and untangle the mess before anyone else gets hurt whilst those involved race to prevent him!

Bugger!

It's a concept that's been done before, but perhaps not in such a high profile film. Whether it works well or not is debatable. Both I and apparently a test audience soon grew tired of the film rewinding to the start despite the fresh perspective offered by each character. However, the story is intriguing enough after to hold your attention and the initial frustrations soon die down as you enjoy the mounting tension as more and more information is revealed. The relatively inexperienced Travis directs the numerous action scenes well, including some fantastic chase scenes of both the foot and vehicular variety, and there is some nice camera work, particularly the multiple views of some parts of the rewinding sequence.

Chasing the wrong guy?

The cast assembled here is by and large a highly talented one but it is also pretty large. Some seasoned actors therefore don't get the screentime their talent deserves, notably Signourney Weaver, but of the ensemble, Quaid probably gets the most. He remains as watchable as ever as Thomas Barnes, the nervous Secret Service agent on his first Presidential assignment since taking a bullet protecting the President six months earlier. Forest Whitaker too, is enjoyable to watch, but the role doesn't really ask too much of him. I guess the same could be said of many other cast members, but as action-thrillers go, you could do a lot worse than this. Some people will probably hate the same few minutes being replayed over and over, instead impatiently wanting the story to continue, but when it does, you view the proceeding with fresh insight over all those concerned. It doesn't set new standards for any of the sub-genres it covers, and it could've possibly been a bit longer, but as a standard terrorism/assassination/kidnap/chase thriller, it's and interesting and exciting 90 minutes.

RKS Score: 7/10

Thunder Force Series - Part 4

Thunder Force 2 (1988)
By: Techno Soft  Genre: Shooting   Players: 1  Difficulty: Medium-Hard
Featured Version: Sharp X68000   First Day Score: 30,710
Also Available For: Sega MegaDrive / Genesis

My quest to uncover the origins of the much-loved Thunder Force series has led me to some interesting systems. The next? The Sharp X68000. After having finally used one of these fabled machines, albeit under emulation, I'm unable to decide if Sharp were geniuses or idiots. For the X68000 is apparently a system of formidable power and impressive abilities. So how did they manage to keep it from everyone outside Japan? During the course of its life it was famous for the standard of its arcade conversions, but there were a few original games released on it too, and among them was Thunder Force 2. Contrary to popular belief, this was also the first system to see it too.

Notice the stuff under the water in this version...

As any regular Red Parsley readers may be aware, I had an absolute bloody nightmare trying to emulate the systems that host Thunder Force 1. The 'Win68kHighSpeed' emulator I used was much better than the PC-88 and 98 nightmare I had a few months ago (it even supports control pad use!), but it was hardly bereft of problems. Fortunately, however, I was able to get TF2 running on it, and when I did I was a little surprised - it didn't even cross my mind that Sharp's little machine (well, I say little but it was actually more like a mini-tower PC!) would be able to give the mighty MegaDrive a run for its money, but it damn near ended up showing it up! This was one of the first games I ever got for the MD and that's the only system I've ever played it on, so any differences present in this earlier version would be immediately apparent. And there were lots!

One of the very very helpful maps!

The first difference I noticed was the graphics, naturally, and having now seen both the versions of TF2, it's hard to say which looks the nicest. The side-viewed stages look more or less the same to my eyes but the overhead stages do not. There are different enemies between the versions for one thing, including a cool/annoying flying caterpillar thing that follows you around, and the sprites seem to be a little smaller here too. The biggest difference, however, is the backgrounds which feature some nice transparency effects and parallax scrolling. This is most noticeable on the first stage around the water areas but can be seen on others too. As can be seen to the right, the overhead stages on the X68000 version also have a handy map to show the location of the bases, the destruction of which is of course the object of these stages.

The overhead stage missing from the MD version...

The difference that was next easiest to notice was the difficulty. As you may recall, my ability to explore the world of Thunder Force 1 was hampered by its extreme difficulty level. This game isn't quite as bad as that, but it's a lot closer than the MD version! For example, when playing TF2 on the MD, I can finish the first stage in under a minute with no lives lost. Here, it took me a good few restarts before I even got to the second stage! I have since found myself wondering if it's even possible to finish this version without cheating! Suffice to say, it's tough going. One other major difference between the two versions of TF2 is that this one has two extra stages - one overhead and one side-viewed, the former in particular being somewhat reminiscent of the Dyradeizer stage from TF1. They look a little dreary compared to the other stages but they at least retain the great aesthetic variety between stages.

A shot from the intro-sequence...

The only other differences I noticed between the two versions are the existence of a short intro-sequence featuring static images with text overlaid, and the fact that the speech is clearer on the X68k (and more plentiful - listen for the profanity when you lose your last life!). The superb music is all the same here and the game plays the same, just except it's a lot harder! It's still a very playable game and I'm glad to have finally played this original version
of it, but I think I'll stick with
the MD version for enjoyment
purposes!

RKS Score: 6/10


Red Parsley - Thunder Force Series:
Part 1      Part 2     Part 3     Part 4     Part 5     Part 6     Part 7     Part 8     Part 9     Part 10

Single Screen Platform Games #1

Super Glob a.k.a. The Glob, a.k.a. Beastie Feastie (1983)
By: Epos Corporation  Genre: Platform  Players: 1  Difficulty: Medium-Hard
Featured Version: Arcade  First Day Score: 23,350
Also Available For: Nothing

Who remembers the Psygnosis classic, Globdule, on the Amiga? It was a cavern-based collect 'em up which saw you controlling a floppy purple blob who could stick to almost anything! I'm a big fan of that game, and when I saw the abbreviated filename of this game I thought someone had finally made a sequel! Alas, it proved not to be the case, for, whilst also a platform game, this one is a little know oddity from the early 80's. Despite what the title screen says, Super Glob is a one player game (the two-player mode just sees the players take turns). It's your job to guide a blue blob called Toby around the single-screen stages to collect food, which includes standard game food such as strawberries, grapes, and even hunks of meat! The food has of course been sprinkled liberally all around the platforms on each screen. As you might expect, being a 'glob', Toby lacks the limbs to use ladders, so he can't reach other platforms that way. He instead has to rely on the handily-located elevators which he can summon to his current platform by pressing one of the buttons nearby.

Also populating these platforms in ever increasing numbers are various enemies which take the form of animals. The first stage is populated by crocodiles but other stages are home to such seemingly benevolent creatures as rabbits, frogs, monkeys, and pigs! Of course, contact from any of these results in the instant loss of a life, although more can be gained by achieving set scores. These guardians of the food can be defeated in two ways. Firstly, if he times it right, Toby can crush them with the elevators by moving up or down into them. It's also worth mentioning that he can actually crush himself with the elevators too, by summoning one and standing underneath it as it desends! The other way, which is probably more reliable, is to take advantage of Toby's gelatinous nature by jumping up and sticking to the ceiling! Hold the jump button down to stay stuck, then release it to land on top of your adversary. If either of these manoeuvres are not timed right, however, it almost certainly results in contact with the creatures and subsequent death! Neither is a long-term solution either - the enemies quickly respawn close to where they originally apeared so it's sometimes easier to just avoid them.

Before the accidental discovery mentioned earlier, I had never heard of this game. I have no idea how it was received or how popular it was, but I'm guessing it passed a lot of people by, and that's a shame. It's not spectacular or remarkable in any way, and I'm sure that was the case when it was first released as much as it is today, but it's an enjoyable little game and it must've been pretty original back then. There is apparently 24 stages to play through here and that should prove a challenge for most gamers, but even if you can't get very far, you'll keep trying. It's a very addictive game and, despite being pooly animated, Toby is quite an endearing little chap. The graphics and sound are pretty basic, with no in-game music at all, but there a lot
worse games to spend ten minutes than
trying out this one.

RKS Score: 6/10

Top Five Star Trek Ships

Spaceships are pretty sweet. I want one. Not just some little shuttle craft or cargo ship though - I want one of those ones that looks like a racing car version of spaceship with big guns on it. There have have been some great examples of mean-looking ships, as well as crap or even funny-looking ones in the many sci-fi shows over the years. Star Trek is without question NOT the sci-fi show with the best looking ships, but it is a fantastic show (or 'franshise' of shows) that at least has spaceships. There have been lots that were seen in odd episodes here and there and never seen again, but of the major players in the Star Trek universe, here are what I think are the best:

5 - Borg Cube

Yes, it's looks pretty unremarkable in itself, but not many ships instantly strike fear into the heart like a Borg Cube! And when you've see one in battle, seen how huge and powerful it is, how it rips apart vessels left, right, and centre, you can't help but be in awe of it. Until Species 8472 came along and effortlessly destroyed 15 of them, of course!

4 - Jem'Hadar Battleship

The weird-looking junkies might be slaves but they've sure got some decent kit to play around with. This huge capital ship can easily slice a path through a Federation fleet without even breaking a sweat! Plus, it looks exactly like a big, scary, evil alien ship should - angry, imposing, powerful, and... cool!

3 - Klingon Bird of Prey

Yes it's small, but it sure packs a mean punch. They rarely attack alone, and a fleet of them are like a swarm of locusts, nibbling away until the target is neutralised, and on many occasions in the past these targets have been some our very own Federation vessels! They look cool, have cloaking devices, and can even land on... umm... stuff. I would be happy to own one of these babies!

2 - Romulan Warbird

There have been a few different ones of these but the one that made its mark on me is this one, first appearing in Next Generation. It's probably not the most efficient design, what with all the space in the middle wasted, but you don't often see one of them in trouble in a battle! Its designers clearly wanted to stay with the Roman Empire theme and it works - when one of them decloaks, you know you're in for an interesting time!

1 - USS Defiant

Well, they sure took their sweet time but finally the Federation creates a ship that doesn't suck ass! I know their main interest is exploration and the wussies don't want to upset anyone by daring to build something powerful, but would it really hurt to build a few actual warships? All those cumbersome, stupid-looking ships with saucers and sticky-outy warp nacelles... Let's face it, they couldn't fight their way out of a junk yard. The Defiant, however, is another story. It's small, maneuverable, and so powerful it had to have its 'structural integrity field' modified just so it didn't tear itself apart! It's armed with normal phasers and photon torpedoes, but also has fancy new pulse phasers, quantum torpedoes and special armour, and is even equipped with a cloaking device! It was a long time coming, but finally the Federation has a ship that looks cool and can kick ass!

Scrolling Fighting Games #1

Double Dragon (1988)
By: Technos Japan Corp  Genre: Fighting  Players: 1-2  Difficulty: Medium
Featured Version: Sega Master System
Also Available For: Arcade, NES, GameBoy, MegaDrive/Genesis, PC, Amiga, C64, Amstrad CPC, ZX Spectrum

Almost all games have their fans and detractors, and now and then, particularly passionate residents either side of the fence engage in fierce fights and arguments regarding the game in question. Among the biggest I remember back in the 80's were the epic Double Dragon Wars. The arcade game was immensely popular and to say conversions of it were eagerly awaited is putting it mildly. When they arrived, they were met with... indifference from many. But the die-hard fans vigorously defended them, and of course but there was also a lot of criticism. Obviously some versions were better than others, but the only one I've played is the Master System version. But how did it fare? Did it prove as controversial as many of the other versions, or did fans finally have the definitive version they were looking for to finally end their arguements?

That's not very gentlemanly...

Taking the tried and tested route of girlfriend-gets-kidnapped-by-evil-criminal-gang, in this case the 'Black Warriors' gang, the 'Double Dragons' of the title are in fact twin brothers, Billy and Jimmy Lee (which makes you wonder how they distribute the affections of the girlfriend, Marian). In order to win her back, the brave brothers must fight through four long stages filled with the sort of no-good thugs and criminals you might expect to find in such places, with each one ending in a boss fight. Initially armed only with their fists, they have a few moves available with which to dispatch these punks including punches, kicks, elbows, jumping kicks, etc, and they can even gang up to double-team opponents. Some of the more ruthless enemies carry weapons such as baseball bats and whips. If you can knock over one of these, the weapon is then available to use yourself which is very handy as they're obviously much more powerful! Even better, you will occasionally come across helpfully discarded steel drums, boxes, etc, which can be picked up and thrown at the bad guys!

You can always rely on some handily-placed girders...

Graphically the game is a bit of a mixed bag. From static screenshots it probably looks like one of the best versions of the game outside of the arcade, and the four stages are nicely varied, consisting of inner-city streets, a factory, a large wooded area, and finally the big boss' hideout. The sprites aren't enormously varied but all look suitably thuggish. However, the problem is a familiar one for Master System fans - sprite flicker. Lots of it. It's often easy to overlook this problem with Master System games as it doesn't usually affect proceedings to any significant degree, but this is one of the worst cases I've seen on the poor old MS. The on-screen action is sometimes hard to discern when things get busy, especially when playing in two-player mode, and when there's several characters close together you may end up wondering where your guy is at times. It's not the end of the world though as there are seldom more than three enemies on the screen at once, and this is still a highly playable and addictive brawler.

Surrounded!

Top quality fighting games are hardly prevalent on the little Master System, and even with the problematic graphics this remains one of the best. It could do with a few more moves, but it's fast-paced, very playable, and control over your character is good and responsive. The music and sound effects are pretty good too and the game offers a decent, though not impossible challenge. It can be a bit frustrating and your energy bar will sometimes dimish at an alarming rate, but luckily you have infinite continues (until the last stage) and, as a two-player scrolling fighting game, it offers a rare treat nonetheless. Even including offerings on other systems, until Streets of Rage came along, this was for a long time the zenith of two-player scrolling fighting games for me and my good friend (and scrapping partner), Luke, and even now we still have a riot playing it. Just wish those graphics didn't flicker as much!

RKS Score: 7/10

Puzzle Games #2

Pipe Dream a.k.a. Pipe Mania (1990)
By: Bullet Proof Software / Lucasarts  Genre: Puzzle  Players: 1-2  Difficulty: Medium
Featured Version: Nintendo NES  First Day Score: 17,250
Also Available For: PC, GameBoy, Amiga, Atari ST, Archimedes, Apple II, Apple Mac, Commodore 64, Amstrad CPC, ZX Spectrum, Acorn Electron, BBC Micro, Sam Coupe
Download For: Xbox 360 Live Arcade

After the overwhelming worldwide success of Tetris, puzzle games were suddenly big business. The first major release I can remember after the Russian juggernaut had conquered all was Pipe Dream, or Pipe Mania as we know it here in the UK. Like most of the best puzzle games, it's such a simple concept it makes you wonder how someone didn't think of it earlier! Each level takes place on a grid spread over a single screen. From a starting point in the form of an open pipe somewhere round the grid, you must lay additional sections of pipe to create a pipeline. After a short amount of time, a liquid called 'flooze' starts to slowly pour into the pipeline. If the liquid reaches the open end before you have built the pipeline to a required minumum length, the game will be over.

Not going too well at the start...

The pieces of pipe you lay are each the size of one grid square and they appear one at a time in a random order. They include horizontal pieces, vertical pieces, corners, crossroads, and small reservoirs (which buy you a little time when the flooze is on its way!). Much like Tetris with its 'next piece' indicator, here you get to see the next five pipe pieces in the queue so you can plan ahead to some extent, but if you get any pipe pieces you don't want, you can dump them elsewhere on the grid. You'll get points for every piece of pipe you lay, and you can lay pieces on top of existing pieces (providing the flooze hasn't yet reached that piece), but you'll lose points for that. Any stray or unused pieces of pipe left upon completion of the level are also deducted from your score, however. As you advance through the stages the game gets harder by allowing you less time from the level start before the flooze starts to flow, and the flooze also flows faster and faster. Luckily you get three 'lives' represented by wrenches on the score panel.

One of my finest achievements!

As I said, Pipe Dream is a simple game, perhaps even more so than Tetris itself. You can choose between three catchy (but quickly irritating) tunes before play, and it has a suitably panic-inducing tune for when the flooze is nearing the end of the pipeline. It's a bit drab-looking, but games like this don't really need, and seldom receive fancy graphics. The hook games like this need is just that - an inherent addictive quality to keep you coming back, and Pipe Dream has it. It's great fun to play and with some practise you can create huge, grid-filling pipelines and rack up big scores. It's not the most addictive game I've ever played, and doesn't topple the mighty Tetris, but it's a great game to play for short bursts before you realise you've been playing it for hours!

RKS Score: 8/10

Film Review #9

Whip It (2010)
Director: Drew Barrymore Starring: Ellen Page, Alia Shawkat, Drew Barrymore, Juliet Lewis, Kristen Wiig, Marcia Gay Harden, Jimmy Fallon, Eve, Zoe Bell, Landon Pig, Carlo Alban, Ari Graynor, Andrew Wilson, Daniel Stern

Certificate: 12A  Running Time: 102 Minutes

Tagline: "Be Your Own Hero"

She's been entertaining us in one way or another for most of her life, whether by her acting or her 'extra curricular activities', so I suppose it was inevitable that the delightful Drew Barrymore would eventually turn her talented hand to directing. But what sort of film would she choose? A romantic comedy like The Wedding Singer? Brainless action like the horrific Charlie's Angels? Or something similar to one of the many serious drama's she's starred in? Actually, no. It turns out to be something quite different. Something akin to the small-town American indies of which I'm so keen, but most other people haven't heard of.

Pash and Bliss hard at work at the 'Oink Joint'...

Whip It is set in the world of the Roller Derby, which, to be frank, is a sport I had never even heard of before seeing this film. Nonetheless, it's an amateur contact sport practised primarily by women and contested by two teams of five each. Four players from each team begin racing around the oval track before the remaining member of each team known as 'jammers' start from further back. The jammers then have to race round and round the track attempting to pass as many members of the other team as possible. The players on that jammer's team attempt to clear a path for her while the opposing players try to stop them. For each opponent successfully passed, that team scores a point.

Bliss tries to stay upright during her first Derby...

At the start of the film, however, Bliss Cavendar (Page - Juno) had no more idea what Roller Derby was than I did. She is a directionless 17-year old living in a small Texan town called Bodeen. She is shunned by the 'cool kids' at school, has an unsatisfying job in a fast-food restaurant called the 'Oink Joint' where her only friend, Pash (Shawkat - Arrested Development), also works, and she has no real interests or goals. Her mother, a former beauty queen, pushes her into entering pageant after pageant, and she goes along with it despite not really caring about them. During a shopping trip with her mother, however, Bliss encounters some roller derby players distributing fliers.

Bliss daydreaming with Oliver...

Immediately intrigued, she and Pash lie to their parents and travel to Austin to watch the roller derby clash between arrogant champions, the Holy Rollers, and perennial losers, the Hurl Scouts. After meeting Hurl Scout, Maggie Mayhem (Wiig) after the derby, she is invited to attend a tryout. After a bit of practise she attends the tryout where she discovers she is one of the fastest skaters around and is offered a place on the team! The only problem from here is trying to improve the losing attitude of her new team and dealing with the building rivallry with Iron Maven (Lewis) and her Holy Rollers. Around the same time as all this, she meets budding rock star, Oliver (Pigg), at an after derby party with whom she immediately hits if off. However, with so much of her time now being taken up by her new pursuits, her friend and parents are forced to take a back seat.

The rivalry is brewing...

As I said, I had no idea what a 'Roller Derby' was before I encountered this film, but if it's anything like this, it looks pretty damn entertaining! It's an interesting subject on which to base a film, and Drew Barrymore, who also has a co-starring role as fellow Hurl Scout, the violence-loving Smashley Simpson, looks like she's having a fantastic time, both on-camera and off. The diminutive Ellen Page is as lovable as always (okay, maybe not Hard Candy!) as Bliss, showing once again she's more than just a little cutie - despite her being a bit selfish, she'll still have you cheering her all the way. Whilst perhaps a little sterotyped, Pigg also does a decent job as confident, brattish rock singer, Oliver.

Has the team actually won one?

The main players are all well supported too. I've long been a fan of Juliette Lewis and she's bang on form here as the cocky and ruthless star player, Iron Maven, and the other players including Eva Destruction (Graynor), Bloody Holly (Bell - Death Proof), and Wiig as Bliss' new friend, Maggie Mayhem, are all great fun to watch. Before you ask, yes there are some males in the film too, although not many! Andrew 'brother of Owen and Luke' Wilson is the Hurl Scouts team manager, Razor, who takes great pride in his 'playbook' (which of course the team dismiss as nonsense) and event compere, Johnny Rocket (Fallon) has a lot of fun with his innuendo-laden commentaries. Bliss' parents (Stern and Harden) do a lot with their limited screen time too, with the latter suffocating Bliss with her controlling ways while her father just sits back, happy to let his wife be burdened by her. Lastly, lovely little Alia Shawkat has grown up a bit since I last saw her in Arrested Devopment but she's still endearing and makes a great 'best friend' as Pash. Hope to see more of her soon.

COME GET SOME!!!

The bottom line is, I watched this film because I liked Ellen Page in Juno and was intrigued to see Drew Barrymore's directorial debut, plain and simple. I'm not sure what I went in expecting, but this definitely wasn't it! However, to say I was pleasantly surprised in an understatement - the events depicted are entirely inconsequential to all but those most directly involved, but that doesn't stop this film from being an absolute joy to watch for it's entire length. This is exactly the kind of film I like - well cast, good acting, decent story, etc, but beyond all that, interesting, earnestly portrayed characters that you actually find yourself caring about. Special mention must also go to the absolutely fantastic soundtrack. As is often the case with movie soundtracks, you'll probably not have heard of half the bands here, but the songs are almost all great and perfectly selected for their scenes, with the roller derby songs in particular suiting the action to a tee.

Bonus promo pic - Director kissing Star!

So, Drew Barrymore's career as a director is off to a damn good start. Considering those involved, I was expecting this to be a pretty entertaining film, but it ended up being an even more thoroughly enjoyable 100-odd minutes than I thought, and one that I'll undoubtedly sit through many more times! I'm sure it won't appeal to all - it's not a sugar-coated chick-flick or a gun-laden blokey action film. What it is, though, is the best film I've seen this year so far...

RKS Score: 9/10