Film Review #124

Road House (2024)
Director: Doug Liman Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Daniela Melchior, Billy Magnussen, Conor McGregor, Jessica Williams, Joaquim de Almeida, Austin Post

Certificate: 15 Running Time: 121 Minutes

Tagline: "Take it outside"

Only a few weeks ago my good friend Luke came to visit me for a few days. We don't see each other often these days so we had decided in advance on a few old classic films we wanted to watch while he was visiting and one of them was Road House. It was a popular film with our generation, of course, but I realised that it must've been at least 25-odd years since I'd seen it. Even more surprisingly, I found that I still knew a lot of the dialogue to the point where I could recite lines before they were spoken! Anyway, it was great to see it again after all this time, and it was great to see Luke again too. We watched a few other films, then he left and I got back to the various shows I'm watching on my streaming services... BUT THEN!! What did I see? Road House was showing on the bit at the top of the screen where Amazon spams new stuff, and then I vaguely remembered hearing something about an upcoming remake, but I'd forgotten all about it. Should I risk watching it?

Ben Brandt gives Dalton the lay of the land...

Of course I should, I'm not one of those simple-minded buffoons who thinks remakes 'ruin' the original. If I don't like it, the Swayze version will still exist, and will still be just as enjoyable, after all. Besides, as I later found out, it's not a remake anyway, strictly speaking; no, it's described as a 'reimagining' which should further shield the original from damage in the eyes of those aforementioned buffoons. As you may not be too startled to hear, Jake Gyllenhaal stars as Dalton, but it's not the same Dalton as before. He has a different first name, for one thing (Elwood) and a new background. This Dalton, you see, is a disgraced former MMA fighter who scratches a living showing up at underground bare knuckle fights, challenging the champion, then collecting the winnings when the champion is too scared to fight him.

Ellie takes Dalton for a watery date...

Seems like a pretty good racket to me, but then of course comes the manager of a rough bar who wants to hire Dalton to clean it up. After mulling it over for the duration of a suicide attempt, he moseys on down to the Florida Keys which is where the bar, called The Road House (eeep!), is located. Despite the idyllic setting, it's soon clear why someone of Dalton's talents is needed. In addition to the usual drunken oafs wildly swinging fists at each other, there is a biker gang that seems to enjoy stopping by to smash stuff up and stomp anyone who stands up to them, including the existing bouncers. It turns out that they were hired by the local crime boss, Ben Brandt (Magnussen) who wants the Road House gone so he can build a resort. Or something. Dalton's arrival complicates matters so a new heavy is needed.

The less-diplomatic Knox meets Dalton...

This comes in the form of a psycho called Knox, played by MMA fighter Conor McGregor in his acting debut. Now, I've heard of McGregor and seen the odd photo of him but I've never seen a fight or even a brief interview with him so I've no idea what he's like, but either his acting is unexpectedly brilliant or he's like this in real life. I guess he isn't as here, he is loud, obnoxious, talks weirdly, walks like he has a huge log under each arm, and is an absolute nutcase who, in anything even slightly resembling the real world, would be in prison almost permanently. I don't doubt he was only brought in to give the film a bit of hype, and a lot of people are talking about his role here so it must have worked. However, his is also the only character capable of giving Dalton a run for his money. Can he help Brandt get rid of The Road House and its problematic bouncer in the process?

Dalton 'persuades' a patron to drop his knife...

I think you would be able to guess the answer to that even if this wasn't a 'reimagining', and indeed, the film is basically a succession of increasingly-violent attempts to get rid of Dalton and the bar, as well as a couple of detours the original film made - Dalton hooking up with the doctor who patches him up, and a kind-hearted local resident Dalton befriends who the bad guys target to try and force him out. It's not like we haven't seen this before, even discounting the original film, and we all know how it's going to end (more or less), but the ride can often be fun, even if we already know the destination, right? But is this one? Well, it certainly has some decent scenes, and not just the fighty ones, but it definitely has its bad points too, some of which will irk fans of the first film, and some of which are just bad.

Dalton's new friend, Young Bookshop Girlie...

First of all, I didn't think they made a great choice for the main setting, namely the bar. It seems like the type of bar you might find at your resort on a tropical getaway, not some grimy dive bar that had been repeatedly trashed by unsavoury patrons, and it seems that virtually every one of them is just itching for an excuse to start fighting with somebody. As Dalton himself says at one point: "People seem a little aggressive around here!" and he's certainly got a point! In addition, one of the things many oldies like me fondly recall about the original is the fighting scenes (as one-sided as some might be). There's certainly more fighting here, and much of it is of a technically higher standard, but it's 'complemented' by some pretty ropey CGI, as are many of the other action scenes including a PlayStation 2-standard car crash.

Knox looking as chilled out as ever...

There are some other things you might complain about such as the odd bit of bad dialogue or acting, no character development, silly story, etc, but these are all things the original film was guilty of too. You might hope the producers would've taken the opportunity to rectify these things, but it seems the presence of Gyllenhaal and McGregor was deemed to be enough. The former lacks Swayze's charisma and swagger but he's gotten himself in fantastic shape for the role and has his own amusingly-laid back attitude, while the over-the-top-ness of the latter will probably delight you if you were already a fan of his or irritate if you were not. Overall, though, unless you were/are a die-hard superfan of the original film, and/or can't overlook the issues mentioned, this should make for a reasonably entertaining time-killer if you take it for old school cheese-fest it so unashamedly is.

RKS Score: 6/10