Film vs Book #2

A Good Year (2004 - book, 2006 - film)

Book By: Peter Mayle Film Directed By: Ridley Scott Starring: Russell Crowe, Albert Finney, Marion Cotillard, Tom Hollander, Freddie Highmore, Abbie Cornish, Didier Bourdon, Isabelle Candelier, Archie Panjabi, Valeria Bruni Tedeschi

Certificate: PG Length: 118 Minutes / 245 pages

Tagline: "Everything matures... eventually" (both film and book)

This might seem like a slightly strange choice for inclusion in this feature, especially so early, but the film has long been one of my favourites despite getting a bit of a critical roasting, and it actually has comparable beginnings to Contact, the first film/book in this series of posts. The story is set in Provence in southeastern France where director Ridley Scott owns a property and had long wanted to make a film. He turned to author Peter Mayle, an acquaintance who had written several books set in the region, but Mayle didn't want to write the screenplay for Scott. He did, however, think Scott's ideas had the makings of a good book, so they agreed that he would write the book and Scott would secure the film rights and produce an adaptation henceforth. I'm not sure how successful the book was but sadly the film didn't do especially well, even with some talented names in the cast list, and is now considered a box office bomb.

Top Five John Hughes Films

If you asked someone old enough to name the best films of the 80s, you would very likely hear names like Ghostbusters and Back to the Future, but I'm confident a majority of the John Hughes filmography would be mentioned too. When I say that, I'm only counting the films he actually directed as well as wrote, rather than the far greater number for which he has only a writing credit. That only leaves eight films, but nonetheless, for many, his films define 80s cinema, especially if you grew up in that decade as I did. Here are my pics for his finest efforts:

5. Sixteen Candles (1984)

I suspect many had a bit of a thing for teen hottie Molly Ringwald in the 80s and this was the first of her 'big three' releases in successive years, but I was only seeing it for the first time here. She stars as Sam Baker who is hoping for big things following her imminent 16th birthday, only to find her family all forgot about it! They are a little preoccupied with her older sister's wedding the day after but even so! Aside from that there isn't too much of a story though. She goes to school as normal where she gossips with her friend, crushes on senior Jake (Michael Schoeffling), gets chased around by geek Ted (Anthony Michael Hall), goes to a school dance, etc. There isn't much more to it really, it's kind of a 'slice of life' 80s high school comedy that happens to take place on and just after the main character's birthday. It's possibly most famous these days for Long Duk Dong (Gedde Watanabe), a foreign exchange student whose racially-stereotyped scenes are, frankly, not very funny, but I enjoyed most of the rest of it. Ringwald and Hall are great and share some nice scenes, and the general 80s-ness is wonderful too. Not sure Sam should've given up her panties so readily though - lord only knows what ends up being done to/with them...

Film vs Book #1

I have long been one of those people who loves books, has many books, buys new books often, but doesn't actually get around to reading them that often. The Japanese even have a term for people like me: tsundoku. Short attention span, hand aches from holding book, easily distracted - these are all reasons/excuses for my idiotic behaviour, but I have been improving of late. I also realised I have a lot of books that were adapted into films or were inspired by or related to films, so I've concentrated on these in order to make a few posts here. In pretty much all cases I will have seen the film before reading the book so the emphasis will be on the former. First up is the book that accompanies one of my favourite films, and it had an unusual start.

Contact (1985 - book, 1997 - film)

Book By: Carl Sagan Film Directed By: Robert Zemeckis Starring: Jodie Foster, Matthew McConaughey, James Woods, John Hurt, Tom Skerritt, Angela Bassett

Certificate: PG Length: 144 Minutes / 429 pages

Tagline: "A message from deep space. Who will be the first to go? A journey to the heart of the universe" (film) "We are not alone" (book)

I'm usually slow to adopt new technologies - I fear change, I guess, to paraphrase Garth from Wayne's World - but one notable exception was DVDs. I forget the year now. It must've been 1997 or 1998, but whenever it was, I was almost immediately taken by the new movie format and spent a fortune (credit card, of course) on what was probably the best player available at the time, the Sony DVP-S715. At the time there were only about 20 films available on the format and not too many interested me, but the shop where I bought the player had three titles that looked acceptable - Face/Off, Assassins and... yes, that's right, Contact! I didn't know much about it prior to buying it, I just wanted a few new films to play on my shiny new player and a sci-fi selection is usually a safe bet for me. Plus, you can rarely go wrong with Jodie Foster, right?

Top Five Jennifers

Being something of a film fan (as well as certain types of TV shows) I noticed some time ago the surprising proliferation of actresses named Jennifer, going as far back as the 80's and perhaps beyond. I don't know too many Jennifers in real life - none, actually - so this struck me as a strange coincidence. Nonetheless, such is their prevalence I have occasionally given some thought to which of the many examples were my favourite. Behold, therefore, the fruits of my pointless musings:

5. Jennifer Carpenter

This is a Jennifer I have only recently discovered after watching Dexter all the way through, and her character of 'Deb' is easily one of the best in the show, even outshining Michael C. Hall's titular serial killer himself on numerous occasions. The talented actress brings many qualities to the character but, as fans of the show will already know very well, her most memorable moments are unquestionably thanks to her outrageous potty mouth! It's entirely possible that she's the sweariest character I've even witnessed in any TV show or film, which is quite an achievement when you think about it. Since then she has popped up here and there, mainly on the small screen and notably in the lead female role on the short-lived TV version of Limitless. Here's hoping we see more of her soon though.

Top Five Movie Moments #8

#8 - Independence Day (1996)

You know, if you stop to think about it, there really aren't as many alien invasion films around as you might think. There are probably many reasons for this - the need for a sizeable budget, for example, but just as important for me are the need for a tense build-up before the inevitable invasion, and human characters that you actually like and can engage with. I imagine it's difficult to strike the right balance but one film that seemed to do just that was Independence Day.

Sure, it wasn't terribly realistic and many outside its home country disliked all its jingoistic flag-waving 'America saves the day' cheesiness, but what's wrong with that? It's an American film for goodness sake! Its teaser trailers did their job superbly leading up to its release and when the time came to actually watch it, we found likeable stars, some appealing support characters, and of course those ground-breaking special effects, and the result was... aweeesoommmeee!

Well, not everyone thought so I guess - there are always a few spoilsport buffoons who moaned about the story and the plot-holes and the blah blah blah, but for most of us it was a dazzling visual spectacle and enormous fun with plenty of memorable scenes and set-pieces. Here are the five that stand out the most to me:

Spoiler Alert: the Top Five Movie Moments featured here obviously assume that you've seen the film in question or don't mind knowing about its most prominent moments so don't come whining to me if they ruin a film that you haven't seen yet!

5... "They're using our own satellites against us."

Obviously we are expecting the aliens to be evil malevolent exterminators, you know they're going to attack and bring mankind to its knees - the producers of the film did absolutely nothing to hide this, but this scene was the moment in the film when most of the characters found out too! David (Goldblum) had already worked this out but he had to use his ex-wife's influence to interrupt a presidential conference before he could make the leader of the free world aware, and the rest of the US by extension.

Following an amusing conversation between David, his ex-wife, and his father about how the former once punched the President (but he wasn't the President then so it was okay) while they're waiting for him:

President (entering the room, seeing David): "I don't have time for this."
Constance: "Two minutes, Tom."
David: "I told you he wouldn't listen."
Constance: "David, you have to tell him... DAVID, TELL HIM!"
David: "Uh, I know why we're having satellite disruption."
President: "Alright, go ahead."
David (drawing a crude diagram to illustrate his point): "Let's say that you want to coordinate with spaceships on different sides of the Earth. You couldn't send a direct signal, right?"
President: "You're talking about line of sight."
David: "Yeah, that's right. Exactly. The curve of the Earth prevents it. You'd need satellites to relay that signal in order to reach each ship. Well, I found a signal hidden inside our own satellite system. They're using our own satellites against us, and the clock is ticking..."

(David turns his laptop around to show a clock counting down ominously...)

Top Five Films For 2017

Deary me, I'm a bit late this year with my now-tradition look at the five films I'm most looking forward to over the coming year. So late, in fact, that one of them is already out (only just though, and I still haven't seen it) - oops! Well anyway, it's looking like a pretty good year, especially for comic/superhero fans with two DC efforts and three from Marvel. Will the DCEU finally be able to make up some ground on the relentless Marvel leviathan? There are also a few good (looking) sequels, remakes, and even some all-original films on the way. It should be an entertaining year for film fans anyway, with a lot to choose from. These are probably the five I'm most looking forward to seeing. What are your choices?

5. Alien Covenant (May)

The franchise remains a treasured one for many but the Alien series been through the wringer a bit over the years. It's still only the first two films that are really good isn't it? I rather liked Prometheus too, personally, but many didn't so I imagine this sequel may well be approached with caution by them. I'm looking forward to it though, especially as it sees Ridley Scott's return to the series for the first time since the original, waaay back in 1979. It looks quite similar to that classic too, except it mostly takes place on terra firma: brave explorer finds room full of eggs, face-hugger says good morning, alien bursts out of chest, many others get picked off one-by-one, etc. I can't imagine too many were expecting much else though, and as long as it's done well I'm confident it will be spiffing. (see official trailer here)

Wes Anderson Presents: The X-Men

Okay, I don't usually post funny videos from YouTube here - I don't even watch them very often if I'm honest - but I can't resist posting this one here. If nothing else it will keep reminding me that it exists! But what is it? Well, I'm sure you all know the X-Men films, or at least know of them. What you may not know is that my favourite film director for many years now has been the great Wes Anderson. I could probably make a whole post here about why that is but for now let's just say it's because he and his films are awesome. He also has a very distinctive style, and this short video is a fan-made 'trailer' of what an X-Men film might be like if Wes directed one! It's likely to appeal only to fans of Mr. Anderson's work, and those people will love it, but it's still pretty cool even if you don't know him. Check check check it out!


 

Top Five Michael J. Fox Films

He may have sadly been absent from our screens for a good few years now due to the tragically-early onset of Parkinson's Disease, but the name of Michael J. Fox is still one resonates strongly with most film fans, especially ones who were around in the 80's. This, of course, is mainly due to the Back to the Future films, but he has starred in a surprising number of other films too. Here I've taken a look at what in my view are the best of them. Don't agree? Let's hear what your favourites are!

5. The Frighteners (1996)

This early Peter Jackson movie was sadly Michael's last big on-screen role, but was it one to remember? To be honest I think more people remember it due to Jackson's pre-LOTR involvement than MJF's these days but it's not a bad film and he is pretty good in it. He stars as Frank Bannister who is somehow able to see and communicate with ghosts. So of course, he tells them to haunt people, then sells his services as an exorcist! This is all well and good, but when the ghost of a serial killer starts offing locals, both living and dead, Frank must use his abilities to investigate and stop the evildoer. It was a film perhaps more notable for its special effects than anything else in its day but it definitely has more than just that going for it. As well as Mr. Fox, Star Trek alumni Jeffrey Combs is a standout as an eccentric FBI agent, as is Jake Busey, and we even get a cameo from R. Lee Ermey (Full Metal Jacket's hardcore drill sergeant). It has perhaps aged a bit now but it's still a fun romp and there are some interesting ideas here.

Top Five Films For 2016

This time last year I was getting quite excited about the the movies due for release in the coming 12 months. I ended up seeing four of the top five in the cinema (only Terminator Genisys missed out thanks to its rather lacklustre reviews) and I ended up seeing most of the bonus titles mentioned at the bottom of the post too.

It was a good year for films then, but this coming year could potentially be even better. I've again made a Top Five of the ones I'm most looking forward to. It's been harder to narrow the list down than it was last year, and in the end neither of the big two DC films made the cut, but here are my choices. What are yours?

5. Star Trek Beyond (July)

I've seen an incredible amount of vitriol aimed towards so-called 'JJ Trek' in recent years (as if he's the only one responsible for the new films!) but I've enjoyed them quite a bit personally. After the arguably unwise decisions of Into Darkness' story, this third outing for the new crew does at least feature a new and original story centred around an attack by a swarm of unknown but powerful aliens. Apparently it's an all-new race too, which I guess is both good and bad. It pretty much looks to be 'as you were' really though. There is clearly lots of action again and it appears from the trailer that the Enterprise gets destroyed (yet again), so it will be interesting to see how the crew gets home once they inevitably vanquish their terrible new foe. As much as I like this crew, though, I'm not quite as pumped for this as I thought I would be once I saw the trailer. Then again, it is still Star Trek, and that makes it a must-see for me. (see official trailer here)

Top Five Eddie Murphy Films

Opinions of Eddie Murphy today are likely to be very different to those of 20+ years ago. Back then he was considered a comedic genius who made something funnier just be being in it. Today he is viewed rather less favourably after a string of poorly received films which began in the mid-to-late 90's by my estimations. In defence of the often-fickle movie-going public, some of the films in question truly are ghastly but is he really that bad nowadays? To find out I decided to watch as many of his films as I could manage with the outcome being this Top Five of his best work so far. Would any more recent efforts make the cut?

5. 48 Hrs (1982)

Despite hearing people rave about it for years, this was one I missed in its day, seeing it for the first time only for this feature. Starring opposite Nick Nolte's rough and tumble SFPD detective, Murphy is Reggie Hammond, a former armed robber who is given a temporary break from his prison cell to assist the fuzz in recapturing his old partner in crime who has escaped from prison killing several guards and cops in the process. I think this was meant to be more of a comedy than anything else but, while it's not funny often enough for that, it is a good (and possibly first) example of the 'buddy cop' action thriller which works well thanks mainly to the great chemistry between Murphy and Nolte. It was Murphy's first film too, but it doesn't show from his self-assured performance. Like many of his early films, there's a fair bit of racist language, but that was the only thing I didn't like about this fast-paced adventure.

Top Five Star Trek Babes

Ah, good old Star Trek. Most people seem to either love it or hate it. I'm definitely in the former category, as long-time visitors to this page must already know, and there are many reasons that I like all its various incarnations. The epic and never-ending adventure of space exploration offers almost infinite possibilities and can incorporate near enough any genre as well, from emotional drama to kick-ass action, but another thing Star Trek has apparently become known for, chiefly by its male-dominated fan-base, is the lovely ladies that comprise parts of the various casts.

Of course, almost all of them are far more than just eye-candy. Their characters are just as complex as their male counterparts and are just as important as well, holding equal status and frequently being found in positions of authority, but only a fool would suggest they're not nice to look at. Well, for people of the relevant sexualities at least, and I don't think there's anything wrong with appreciating a lady's aesthetic qualities in addition to her less visually-obvious attributes. Accordingly, Trekkies (or Trekkers if you prefer) have many opinions on this subject, like most others, but here are my personal favourites from over the years:

5 - Jadzia Dax (Terry Farrell)

Noticing Ms. Farrell's beauty is not something the producers of Deep Space Nine shied away from - her Trill character was ogled and chased by half the males on the station, human and alien alike, and the fact that she had a giant sentient slug living inside her which bestowed upon her the memories and experiences of its previous occupants (including several men) didn't seem to put most of them off either. I guess it's not hard to see why though. Not only is she clearly very attractive but she's also six foot tall, positively brimming with confidence, and is happy to flirt with just about anyone who shows her attention. Of course, it didn't hurt her case that she had a girl/girl 'moment' in a fourth season episode either!

Top Five Will Ferrell Films

Until recently I thought Will Ferrell was pretty much universally regarded as one of the funniest men alive. Since leaving Saturday Night Live, nearly all his films were well received, he was featured on countless magazine covers, and he seemingly had the comedy world in the palm of his hand. In more recent years, however, that seems to have changed. Was he just a flash in the pan? Have the quality of his films dropped by that much? Or was he never really that loved to begin with? I suppose it's most likely a combination of all of those to varying degrees but I've definitely gotten the impression lately that he's something of a love/hate kind of actor.

Even though he's tried his hand at more serious roles (and he can actually act), he'll always be a comedian first and foremost, and I suppose his brand of immature idiocy may well be an acquired taste. Perhaps viewers have even gotten tired of it. I still find his antics mighty chortlesome though, and there's no doubt that he had a hell of a run during the 'noughties' when he and his fellow 'Frat Pack' alumni were lobbing their films out left, right and centre. Unsurprisingly then, it's from this period that all my favourite films of his come, and these are the five I enjoyed the most:

5. Old School (2003)

Although perhaps not specifically a 'Will Ferrell film', this amusing Frat Pack effort still gives him a starring role as Frank 'The Tank', one of three depressed friends who try to re-live their much-missed college days by starting a fraternity. Much partying and tomfoolery later and all seems to be going well, until the College Dean - and the victim of their bullying from their actual days at college - decides to try and kick them out, resulting in an attempt to prove that they are a real fraternity. Although his two friends (Luke Wilson and Vince Vaughn) are probably more likeable characters, Ferrell unsurprisingly plays the most immature and idiotic of the three, and therefore gets the most laughs (including the famous streaking scene and a hilarious mishap with a tranquillizer-gun) but this is an enjoyable enough romp with some great scenes, and it's hard not to will-on the hapless trio despite the questionable nature of their endeavour.

Top Five Films For 2015

Despite my long-standing love of movies, I've never really been the biggest cinema-goer. I probably go less than ten times in a given year and even then it's usually at the behest of my lovely wife, but this year may be a bit different. For a while now I've been noticing more and more potentially-awesome films that are due for release at some point this year and it's gotten to the point where I've found it necessary to document them in case I forget any! Of those I've discovered so far in the 'Ultimate Movie Year', however, I think the five I'm most looking forward to are these:

5. Furious 7 (April)

Many mock the Fast and Furious series for its remarkable longevity but they've been making more and more money at the box office and some could argue that they are getting better and better as they go too. This seventh instalment was announced long ago – to such an extent, in fact, that a teaser was found in the closing credits of the sixth film! As brief as it was, it made it clear what direction the film would take. It's set mostly in Tokyo around the time of poor old Han's explodey death in what we now know was not an accident. Rather than just a random collision while racing recklessly away from DK, it seems the whole thing was orchestrated by Ian Shaw (Jason Statham), brother of the sixth film's protagonist, Owen, who's gunning for revenge on the whole team. Dom and the guys (including Paul Walker in his last film appearance) don't take anyone's shit lying down though, so I'm sure they'll be ready, and from what I can gather they may have the help of Tokyo Drift's Sean Boswell too. I'm sure I'd enjoy this anyway considering how consistently-entertaining the series is but I especially can't wait to see the team locking horns with Jason Statham! (see the trailer here)

Top Five Tom Cruise Films

Yes, I know, I can already hear some of you hurling insults and derogatory remarks in this general direction regarding the rather famous (or should that be infamous?) subject of this post, and Mr. Cruise does seem to polarise opinions somewhat. His devotion to the much-maligned 'religion' of Scientology is enough to earn the scorn of many, and his often-wacky behaviour seems to irk many more, but I don't really care about that stuff. I prefer to focus on more relevant stuff.

For example, something else he's devoted to is his work. He chooses his roles pretty carefully and he's actually a superb actor when the role demands it. He also usually performs all his own stunts during their filming as well, which is quite remarkable when you see some of them (mainly the Mission: Impossible films). He has a lot of time for his fans, too, and always spends hours working his way around crowds at premieres to give out signatures and pose for photos - something I respect a great deal considering how unpleasant some lesser 'stars' can be.

The main reason I don't share many people's opinions of Mr. Cruise, though, is simply because of how much I've enjoyed many of his films. When I mentioned to someone that I was planning on making this list I was asked "Has he even made five good films?". Now, as I replied at the time, I believe many people let Cruise's 'colourful' personal life cloud their judgement of his films, so yes, in my opinion he's made many more than five good films, but these ones are my favourites:

5. A Few Good Men (1992)

Despite the huge hype surrounding this film on its release, I ended up seeing it much later than most for some reason. Upon finally doing so (by buying it on DVD), however, it was very easy to see why it was so popular! It's basically a military courtroom drama which gives it potential straight away, but it has a superb cast too (with a scene-stealing turn from the mighty Jack Nicholson). Cruise plays Lieutenant Daniel Kaffee, an inexperienced US Navy lawyer assigned to defend two officers accused of killing a fellow officer, but Kaffee believes they were actually following the orders of obstructive base commander, Colonel Nathan Jessup (Nicholson). The plot is fairly predictable but powerful performances from pretty much everyone involved make this a gripping drama all the same

Top Five Robots

Science fiction writers of the early-to-mid 20th century were an imaginative bunch but they sure got a lot of things wrong didn't they? In many cases it was more of a timescale problem - according to many of them, by the year 2000 we should've been travelling around in flying cars here on earth, teleporting to work, and of course exploring space in big, sophisticated interstellar vessels, starting wars with all sorts of alien races, no doubt getting our arrogant arses handed to us in the process.

Our biggest oversight, however, must be robots. It really is desperately disappointing how far behind schedule we've gotten with these clanking automatons. It's 2014, for heaven's sake! They should've been doing our monkey jobs for long enough now to have developed intelligence, risen up against their human oppressors, and wiped our filth from the planet, but we haven't even invented them yet! Oh well, maybe some day. Luckily we have the world of TV and film to remind how cool robots could be, and here are five of my favourites:

5... Smash Robots

Old British people like me must surely remember these entertaining fellows who were used during the 70's and early 80's to advertise instant mashed potato of all things! They're not just robots either, but Martian robots, who take much pleasure in covertly observing the convoluted way in which we stupid humans make mashed potato while they prepare their own Smash variety much more quickly and easily.

Babylon 5 Wallpapers

For a while now I've been making various sci-fi-related posts here at Red Parsley in between all the retro gaming stuff, and many of these have been about one of the first names that the term conjures up - Star Trek. However, my first love as far as this subject is concerned has always been Babylon 5 (well, since it first appeared at least), and while fooling around with my PC lately I discovered some old wallpapers I made many moons ago. What was I to do with these old and pointless occupants of my hard drive? Why, post them here of course! Therefore, for your (possible) viewing pleasure, please browse through (and click/enlarge) the fine images below!

Special Note: I would think it obvious but just to confirm - I didn't actually create the images themselves, I just found them online and fashioned them into these basic (and small - I was using an 800x600 display back then!) wallpapers. They might be worth browsing though anyway though! :)

Top Five Movie Moments #7

#7 - American Beauty (1999)

As a film fan I owe an awful lot to Alan Ball and Sam Mendes (amongst many others). Their writer/director collaboration that resulted in the wonderful American Beauty not only gave me one of the finest films I've ever seen, but it also changed my whole attitude to films in general, inspiring me to seek out and watch many examples I would most likely have previously steered clear of.

I never used to be too bothered by Oscar-winning films, for example, stupidly dismissing them as overly artsy and/or melodramatic. American Beauty came highly recommended by my good friend Luke though, with whom I mostly share a taste in films, so I figured it must be worth watching at least. And without getting into a detailed critique of the film, it was worth watching, to say the very least.

It had such an impact on me, in fact, that as soon as the credits rolled and I sat there in stunned silence, staring at the names scrolling down the screen as I contemplated what I had just seen, it was immediately my favourite film ever. Accordingly, near enough ever scene and every line of dialogue is important to me so choosing just five moments for this list was a tough job, but here they are:

Spoiler Alert: the Top Five Movie Moments featured here obviously assume that you've seen the film in question or don't mind knowing about its most prominent moments so don't come whining to me if they ruin a film that you haven't seen yet!

5... The Plastic Bag

Having grown up with an overbearing, ex-military father and a meek, browbeaten mother, Ricky has ended up a very interesting character. Angela dismisses him as a 'freak' and Jane finds him creepy as well, partly on account of him filming almost everything with his handheld camera (including her), but she soon changes her tune when he actually pays attention to her rather than Angela as is usually the case (Ricky: "I didn't mean to scare you, I just think you're interesting.")

After walking home from school one day (Angela, incredulously: "Jane, that's, like, almost a mile!"), Ricky shows Jane a few things he finds interesting... including his favourite recording: a plastic bag fluttering around in the wind. Yes, it's a scene that's been mocked many times since, and I suppose with reason in some ways. However, it's not so much what it shows but more about what it means to Ricky and how he speaks about it with such poignancy and emotion which, when combined with Thomas Newman's haunting score, makes it a tremendously memorable scene.

Ricky: "You want to see the most beautiful thing I've ever filmed?"

(cut to a TV showing a plastic bag fluttering around in the wind as they watch)

Ricky: "It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing. And there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it, right? And this bag was just... dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. That's the day I realized that there was this entire life behind things, and this incredibly benevolent force that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid. Ever."

"Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... I need to remember..."

"Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it..."

Blu Ray - What's The Big F*ckin' Deal, Bitch?

Although I have long been a keen retro gamer, it’s not just video games that I'm lagging behind on. Much of the music I listen to is by bands I enjoyed in my youth, or even from earlier than that, and I'm happy to wait to see most films and TV shows, even ones I've dying to see (which is probably why there are few 'new release' film reviews here at Red Parsley!). It also takes me much longer than most to embrace new technology. I still don't own a tablet (and have no intention of getting one) and I didn't even get my first mobile phone until about six years ago; even now I've only had three different ones.

Most of my Blu Ray collection (and PS3 too!)

With all this in mind, it's probably not surprising that it's only been in the last year that I finally got around to replacing my trusty CRT television with a flat-screen model, and as I've mentioned here before, I complemented this purchase with a PS3, primarily for its ability to play Blu Ray discs. This obviously facilitated my introduction to 'High Definition' entertainment but I've recently found myself wondering... is this it? What’s the big fuss all about? Ironically, one of the few times I've 'converted' quickly to a new technology was when the DVD format was unveiled. During the height of my irresponsible credit card days I bought my first player for £600 at a time when there were only around 10 films available on the fancy new discs (and half of those were single layer 'flippers') of which I bought three – Contact, Assassins, and Face/Off. The latter was the first one I watched and the difference in picture and sound quality was immediately obvious.

Top Five Michael Bay Films

A vast majority of movie-goers, certainly ones who aren't hardcore film snobs at least, don't generally give two pieces of monkey crap about who directed one film or another. However, even for the most casual of film fans there are usually a few names that stick in the memory. On the plus side there are Spielberg, Cameron, and Tarantino, but on the negative side are Paul WS Anderson, Uwe Boll, aaand… in the minds of many, the master of big-budget destruction, Michael Bay.

For the purposes of this post I'll be concentrating on the works of Mr. Bay (partly because I haven't actually seen five films by either of the other two!) who, despite fairly consistently earning studios huge amounts of cash, is almost universally looked down upon by square-eyed viewers (I think Pearl Harbor was the biggest culprit) who quickly tired of his style-over-substance approach to the art. I know, therefore, that for some movie fans, compiling a list like this is somewhat akin to making a 'Top Five Ways to Commit Suicide' or something, but there are a few bearable ones in there. Here are, in my view, the five best (or perhaps least worst):

5. Armageddon (1998)

Released at what was arguably the peak of the 'disaster movie' sub-genre, Armageddon even had a direct rival released mere months earlier in Deep Impact. Bay's film had the stronger cast though, and was also unsurprisingly the most hyped. The story, such as is it, centres on Harry Stamper (Bruce Willis in gruff mode) and his crew of drilling experts who get roped into helping NASA deal with an approaching asteroid 'the size of Texas' which, if left unattended, will end all life on earth. Our only chance lies with the bumbling drilling crew who have mere days to be trained and sent to the space rock in question, drill a big hole in it, slip in a giant nuke, and fly away quickly! As corny and predictable as it may be (Stamper finds out his second in command played by Ben Afleck is shagging his daughter played by Liv Tyler of whom he is very protective, etc), I still enjoyed the first two-thirds of this oft-maligned film but the final act is a bit too over-the-top for my tastes, even if it does include some fantastic special effects. Stupid and hyperactive but worth watching.

Top Five Fast and Furious Babes

As my last film-related Top Five post probably indicated, I'm quite keen on the Fast and the Furious series. Despite how silly they might be, laughably so at times, I suppose they must still have just the right balance of things I like - appealing characters, explosive action, top soundtracks, and lots of nice stuff to look at. This includes all the crazy customised cars that litter the series, obviously, and I'm sure the ladies can appreciate the various male stars, but for me and other such fans the many and varied girlies are right at the top of that list. Satisfyingly for feminists, no doubt, they're not just there to look pretty either - most of them get just as much to do as the guys - the fact that they look nice while doing it is just a bonus! To that end, here are my favourites from the series (so far):

Spoiler Alert: the movie-related Top Fives featured here obviously assume that you've seen the films in question or don't mind knowing about their most prominent moments so don't come whining to me if they ruin a film that you haven't seen yet!

5 - Gisele (Gal Gadot)

Introduced in the fourth film as an ex-Mossad agent and then the antagonist's bit of stuff, Gisele soon develops an interest in Dominic. He isn't interested of course, having only just discovered the death of his girlfriend, but it doesn't stop her warning him of imminent danger at the film's climax; a gesture repaid when Dominic saves her life. From thereon in she becomes a member of Dom's team, before long hooking up with the ever-munchy Han, forming a mighty useful team in the process. Happily, she's also featured in all subsequent films too. Hooray!