Friday, 19 September 2014

Film Review #68

Lucy (2014)
Director: Luc Besson Starring: Scarlett Johansson, Morgan Freeman, Amr Waked, Choi Min-sik

Certificate: 15 Running Time: 89 Minutes

Tagline: "The average person uses 10% of their brain capacity. Imagine what she could do with 100%."


I'm sure we've all heard about how our poor primitive human brains only make use of 10% of their ultimate capacity. When I was younger this used to amaze me. I used to think "Wow, just imagine what we'll be capable of once we learn/evolve to use the rest!" and imagined all sorts of superhero-like abilities. Of course, this 'fact' turned out to be nonsense and completely devoid of scientific merit, but that hasn't stopped Luc Besson from basing his latest film around this fantastical concept. Unsurprisingly, it revolves around the titular character, played by the lovely Scarlett Johansson, who is an American living and studying in Taipei. After being tricked by her boyfriend into delivering a package to a Korean mob boss (Min-sik) there, Lucy is captured and forced to work as a drug mule by having a packet of a synthetic drug called CPH4 sewn into her abdomen and sent to Europe along with three other mules.

Wednesday, 17 September 2014

Saturn Driving / Racing Games #1

Touge: King the Spirits a.k.a. High Velocity – Mountain Racing Challenge (1995)
By: Cave / Atlus Genre: Racing Players: 1-2 Difficulty: Medium
Featured Version: Sega Saturn
Also Available For: Nothing


The birth of the 32-bit consoles is when driving games really took off so it's a bit ironic that the Saturn was so poorly served in that department. Most owners had to make do with the conversions of Sega's own arcade titles like Sega Rally and Daytona but there were a few who wanted more. One such possibility came in the form of the splendidly-named Touge: King the Spirits. Though not particularly well known or successful, Touge was nonetheless touted by some enthusiastic gamers as the Saturn's answer to Ridge Racer. That would make it an overrated pile of poop to me but, in the interests of impartiality, I approached it with an open mind. Okay, I may have been secretly hoping it was far superior to Namco's immensely limited racer, but that's as good as it was going to get! Don't let me down, mighty Saturn...

Monday, 15 September 2014

The Quest To Like a Football Game #1

Match Day (1984)
By: Jon Ritman & Chris Clarke / Ocean  Genre: Sport  Players: 1-2  Difficulty: Medium
Featured Version: ZX Spectrum  First Day Score: Lost 0-2 :(
Also Available For: Commodore 64, Amstrad CPC, BBC Micro


As many who know me would most likely agree, I can be quite an odd fellow, for better or worse. One example which is relevant in this case is my lifelong appreciation of football (the version most of the world likes - you know, the one where the players actually kick the 'ball' with their 'foot'). Being a fan of such a popular sport doesn't make me particularly odd but what is slightly odd is that I've also liked video games for most of my life as well and yet I've never managed to combine the two interests as so many other gamers have. That's right, for unknown reasons, I've never really enjoyed any football games that I've played. Due to this realisation, I haven't actually played too many examples so I thought I'd once again put this staggeringly awesome blog to good use by attempting to find one I do like.

Sunday, 14 September 2014

Awesome Nature #17

The Wave
Type: Geologic Formation Located In: Arizona Conservation Status: N/A

The diverse range of creatures and plant life on our struggling planet is really quite bewildering but they are not all that Mother Nature has to offer. Every now and then we're reminded that the planet itself is alive too, and it is capable of some pretty awesome feats all by itself. Take this remarkable floopy rock formation for example. It's known as The Wave and is located on the slopes of the Coyote Buttes, an exposure of Jurassic sandstone in the Paria Canyon-Vermilion Cliffs Wilderness on the Colorado Plateau in Arizona. It dates back 190 million years and is primarily composed of two major troughs, each around 16m long, which were formed by erosion - water to begin with, then wind, with some parts even having been shaped by trampling dinosaurs! It certainly makes for a dramatic sight too, but good luck visiting it - only twenty people per day are permitted and they are selected by lottery. Maybe one day... :(

Why It Is Awesome: Curly rocks!
 

Friday, 12 September 2014

Early Driving Games #10

Crazy Cars 2 (1989)
By: Titus Genre: Driving Players: 1 Difficulty: Hard
Featured Version: Commodore Amiga First Day Score: 1,532
Also Available For: Atari ST, PC, Commodore 64, Amstrad CPC, ZX Spectrum


Alright, let's tell it like it is - after the substandard (to put it politely) Crazy Cars there was only one reason any gamers were interested in its sequel - it had a Ferrari F40 on the cover. The fact that it was, at the time, the fastest production car in the world was awesome but it didn't matter as much as how cool it looks (I still think it's one of the best looking cars ever)... but was the game any better than the ghastly prequel? Well, owing to the aesthetic splendour of the F40 I decided to find out by trying what should be the flashiest version, as hosted by the Amiga. It certainly has an appropriately attractive loading/title screen and there's a fairly reasonable backstory this time which sees you cast as an unnamed FBI agent attempting to smash a stolen car racket. The only trouble is, the guys behind it are corrupt cops.

Wednesday, 10 September 2014

Platform / Puzzle Games #5

Toki Tori (1992)
By: Two Tribes B.V. / Capcom Genre: Platform / Puzzle Players: 1 Difficulty: Medium
Featured Version: Nintendo Game Boy Color
Also Available For: Nintendo 3DS, PC, Android, iOS
Download For: PlayStation Network, Wii Virtual Console, Wii U 


Early 80's platformer, Chuckie Egg, is undoubtedly an all-time classic and has been one of my favourite platform games for a great many years now too, so when I recently stumbled upon the superbly-named Toki Tori it was hard to avoid noticing a few similarities between the two games. The most obvious is that the objective of both is to collect all the eggs on each given stage, but whereas the older game cast you as Henhouse Harry who was presumably a farmer seeking to collect and sell the many eggs produced by his possessive (and deadly) cluckers, this more recent effort casts you as the former occupant of a recently hatched egg who has bravely taken upon himself to liberate his as-yet unhatched brethren who were whisked away by a mysterious and no doubt evil force. Spying the eggs from atop a cliff (as seen in the brief intro sequence) which are now being held in and around a spooky castle, Toki Tori (for that is our hero's name) ventures forth undaunted...

Monday, 8 September 2014

Film Review #67

Europa Report (2013)
Director: Sebastián Cordero Starring: Christian Camargo, Anamaria Marinca, Michael Nyqvist, Daniel Wu, Karolina Wydra, Sharlto Copley, Embeth Davidtz, Dan Fogler, Isiah Whitlock, Jr.

Certificate: 15 Running Time: 89 Minutes

Tagline: "Fear. Sacrifice. Contact."


There seems to have been a spate of 'realistic' sci-fi films in recent years - Moon and Gravity are two great examples - but one that managed to initially slip by unnoticed is Europa Report. It's about the first manned mission to Europa, one of the Galilean moons of Jupiter that has long been suspected of harbouring a vast ocean beneath its icy surface... and possibly even some form of basic life. It's a subject I've long been interested in too, so I was eager to see what they found. The six-person mission has been sent to land on the moon, drill down through the ice, and see what's there. The 'report' part of the title comes from the way the film is presented which recounts the mission using footage from cameras mounted in and on the spacecraft and the crew's environment suits interspersed with interviews with the CEO of Europa Ventures, the private company that funded the mission.

Saturday, 6 September 2014

First Look PSN #3

Elefunk by 8bit Games (2008) - PlayStation Network (PS3)

My interest in this game originally stemmed pretty much entirely from the curious elephant used on its cover image, and in particular its amusing 'stomping' animation, but I had absolutely no clue what kind of game it might be. I guessed it might be a platform game and that turned out to be the case... kind of. It turns out, however, that you are required to build the platforms yourself! Well, they're actually bridges you must build - each stage features a ravine or waterway or something and at least one elephant (though often several) that needs to get to the other side. Your job is to build a bridge by choosing from a set selection of small pieces made of metal, wood, and even rope. It needs to be strong enough though, or the poor elephants will fall through to their deaths.

Thursday, 4 September 2014

Super Conversions #1

Golden Axe (1989)
By: Sega Genre: Fighting Players: 1-2 Difficulty: Medium
Featured Version: Sega MegaDrive / Genesis First Day Score: 216.3
Also Available For: Arcade, Master System, PC Engine CD, WonderSwan Color, Amiga, Atari ST, PC, Commodore 64, Amstrad CPC, ZX Spectrum
Download For: Xbox Live Arcade, PlayStation Network, Wii Virtual Console, iOS


Back in the 80's and 90's arcade conversions comprised a significant portion of the software libraries of most computers and consoles. Their quality was of course highly variable but the best ones were often regarded as being among the finest titles for their respective systems. These were generally the ones that were as faithful to their arcade parent as possible but it wasn't until Sega's MegaDrive was unveiled that I encountered the first such conversion that was actually better than its forebear. That conversion was of course Golden Axe, already a very popular game in the world's arcades and now a launch title for Sega's mighty new console. If it was handled well it would go some way to not only demonstrating the abilities of the new machine but perhaps even securing a good few purchases as well. Happily for me and other Sega fans, it was handled very well.

Wednesday, 3 September 2014

Babylon 5 Wallpapers

For a while now I've been making various sci-fi-related posts here at Red Parsley in between all the retro gaming stuff, and many of these have been about one of the first names that the term conjures up - Star Trek. However, my first love as far as this subject is concerned has always been Babylon 5 (well, since it first appeared at least), and while fooling around with my PC lately I discovered some old wallpapers I made many moons ago. What was I to do with these old and pointless occupants of my hard drive? Why, post them here of course! Therefore, for your (possible) viewing pleasure, please browse through (and click/enlarge) the fine images below!

Special Note: I would think it obvious but just to confirm - I didn't actually create the images themselves, I just found them online and fashioned them into these basic (and small - I was using an 800x600 display back then!) wallpapers. They might be worth browsing though anyway though! :)


Monday, 1 September 2014

Red Parsley Charts - Part 1

Oh, hello there. In a flash did the idea come unto me one hazy afternoon of late; an idea so resplendent in its simplicity that one cannot fail to gibber in a curious mixture of awe and bewilderment. This idea was, to add another tab/page to the top of this modest blog featuring charts of the highest rated games and films!

These charts will feature only such titles that have already been reviewed here at Red Parsley so far and are therefore likely to change over time as I encounter more and more splendid examples (hopefully). Here is the first such chart which is none other than an overall Top Ten Games :)

10. Thunder Force 3 by Technosoft (1990) - MegaDrive/Genesis

Few shmup series' have ever appealed to me as much as the Thunder Force series. This third game, a MegaDrive exclusive, is the pinnacle of the series in my opinion which, as well as boasting among the best graphics and music on the system, is also still the best horizontal-scroller I've played. (full review here)

Saturday, 30 August 2014

Star Trek #6

Next Generation Favourite Episodes - Season Six

Well, it's unintentionally been a while since I took a look at TNG's fifth season and it was probably the hardest one so far to narrow down to a mere five episodes. That, however, has now changed as this sixth and penultimate season has proved even more difficult. Admittedly, there isn't really many all-time great Trek episodes here but there are a lot that I personally find memorable and enjoyable, and accordingly I couldn't decide which ones to leave out.

"Ah, Commander, come in. My bed is still warm..."
Some that didn't make the final cut include the latest zany adventures of the amusing Lieutenant Barclay who is scared of creepy crawlies he swears he can see during the transportation process, another 'transporter accident' episode which sees Picard, Ro, and Guinan revert to childhood (am I the only one who'd like to slap the youthful version of Picard?), and near the end of the season the crew even discover a duplicate of Riker which was created some years earlier by... you guessed it, a transporter accident! Our heroic, chair-vaulting Commander also manages to go insane while performing a play, but slightly less disturbing is Data looking out for a bunch of floaty robots who may or may have become sentient and, in another episode, practising his small-talk to hilarious effect while the Enterprise is subjected to a 'baryon sweep'.

Thursday, 28 August 2014

PlayStation Shmups #1

Airgrave (1996)
By: Santos Genre: Shooting Players: 1 Difficulty: Medium
Featured Version: Sony PlayStation First Day Score: 156,200 (one credit)
Also Available For: Nothing


Foom, peeyoww! The greatest title screen of all-time?
Sony's debut console might not be most famous for shmups but there are quite a few available for it, many of them exclusively, and yet one that I've barely heard anything about is Airgrave. This could mean that it sucks arse of course but, whatever the reason, my curiosity to learn its secrets has hastened the start of this series of features! It was a Japan-only release so the story is largely incomprehensible to me but it's clear that we're in the usual territory. It's a military-style vertical scroller (as opposed to a spacey one) and it seems your objective, as laid down by some gruff-looking general type, is to destroy various targets on a pre-stage map screen, presumably bases and strongholds of some dastardly evil dictator or something. You get to choose between four different craft for this testing mission, each varying in terms of its ground attack, air attack, mobility, and defence, as well as its pilot.

Tuesday, 26 August 2014

Gaming Memories - Part 14

As a slightly strange person, there are many things about me that are odd, and that includes some gaming stuff. Indeed, ever since I discovered video games I've been interested in every system around to one degree or another, and I've owned most of them some stage too. However, despite numerous attempts, I've never really managed to embrace any handheld systems.

The first one I owned was Atari's Lynx which, though technically impressive and home to many decent games, failed to keep my attention for too long, so I decided to try the less advanced but much more popular Game Boy. Indeed, even though in my eyes Nintendo's machine was little more than an updated Game & Watch (which I also never really got on with), the various games magazines of the time were constantly burbling on about it to such an extent that figured it was worth a punt. It was duly acquired, along with Tetris or course, and even I, as a seasoned Sega fan-boy, could concede it was a decent bit of kit. It looked quite nice, the batteries lasted a while (unlike my Lynx - eeek!), and even better, it fitted perfectly in the inside pocket of my leather jacket which meant I could carry it around effortlessly and 'whip it out' at a moment's notice, looking undeniably cool in the process - reason enough to own one by itself!

Sunday, 24 August 2014

Top Five Traditional Biscuits

Now that I think about it I'm really not sure how popular biscuits are in other parts of the world - I get the impression that it's mainly various kinds of cookies - but over here in the UK nearly everyone enjoys munching on tasty biscuity treats regularly, and usually one of the 'traditional' kinds too. I can scarcely imagine a day at work without having a pack handy, and preferably one of these delightful varieties:

Special Note: I personally have no interest in 'dunking' so the suitability of these biscuits for that nonsensical act has not been considered when compiling this list.

5 - Rich Tea

They have 'Round Biscuit' written on them