Film Round-Up #36

As you may remember, I did a round-up of Sandra Bullock films a few months back, but round-ups here at Red Parsley generally consist of five films and I accidentally watched six. I therefore had little choice to watch four more films featuring the lovely Virginian and post another round-up here! This wasn't a hardship if I'm honest - she's not exactly tough on the eyes after all (snigger!) - so behold, here's another selection of films starring or featuring this mighty appealing actress:

The Net (1995)

This is one of those ones I knew of in its day but never got around to watching, so this was my first time! As the name may suggest, it's a 'techno-thriller' starring Ms. Bullock as Angela Bennett who is a systems analyst who lives through her computer (yes, that was even possible in the mid-90s!). When a friend sends her a spooky hacker program, however, she thereafter finds herself targetted by a ghastly group of cyberterrorists who have stolen her identity, planted a fake one where she's a junkie hooker, and are chasing her for that magical 3.5" 'floppy' that houses such important data. Placed firmly in the 'English bad guy' role is Jeremy Northam as the main hoodlum chasing Angela (after quite literally 'pumping' her for information, obviously). Despite the understandably-outdated computery stuff though (or even partly because of it!), this was looking like a decent thriller at first. Bullock plays the out-of-her-depth-loner well as she suddenly finds herself with no home, money, or anything else, and she remains as likeable as ever in the process. Sadly, no one else stands out and the plot does go downhill somewhat in the final act, so it's left to its radiant star to just about ensure this one is still worth a watch... 6/10

First Celebrity Crushes?

I was talking to my good friend Luke recently, about Sandra Bullock as prompted by my recent post here as I recall, and he commented as he has before about my 'celebrity attractions' as he puts it. I think he finds it strange but nearly everyone has a celebrity crush or two, don't they? My wife predictably likes Pitt and DiCaprio and I've had certain favourites for many years now too.

The way people are these days I'm sure I would be called sexist or worse anyway, but it's not about tits and arse. Well, it's certainly not just about that. Personality and/or talent always come into play as well, for me at least. Anyway, my brief conversation with Luke got me thinking: who were my first celebrity crushes?

Film Round-Up #32

Despite her acting talent, not to mention her undeniable aesthetic qualities, I hadn't really been much of a Sandra Bullock fan until recently. I'd seen a few films featuring her, sure, but I wasn't at the point where I would seek films out just because she was in them. Believe it or not, it was The Proposal that changed that, but I'm not really sure why (no, it wasn't her nude scene). Nonetheless, it did prompt me to watch some more films of hers for a Round-Up here. Some I'd seen before, others were new to me, but here are the ones I went for in this, the first of what will probably be two posts, maybe even three if you (or I?) are lucky!

Speed (1994)

This was, for those who had missed Demolition Man, the film that made many of us say "Crikey, who's that? What a hottie!" when first we laid eyes upon the lovely Ms. Bullock. The role that so enchanted us was that of Annie Porter, a passenger on the ill-fated bus that surely all of us know now so well? It's a film I had seen long ago but, while viewing it again for this post, there was a fair bit I had forgotten about, including the existence of some off-bus parts. Bullock features in all of them but the opening hostage scene that introduces Mr. Reeves as the courageous, risk-taking LAPD bomb disposal officer, Jack Traven, who ends up on the same speeding bus as Annie who, along with the rest of its passengers, is at the mercy of Dennis Hopper's mad bomber. All three stars are excellent in different ways but it's Bullock who stood out for many as the wrong-place-at-the-wrong-time passenger who is forced to take the wheel and somehow keep her cool while keeping the bus above 50mph through busy roads and, implausibly, over an unfinished section of an elevated freeway. Aside from that ridiculous stunt though, the film has aged splendidly... 8/10

Film Round-Up #30

The emergence of Keira Knightley in the early 2000's was quite a big thing here in the UK as I recall. Although it wasn't her first film, it was Bend It Like Beckham that did it I think. I never saw that one though, it was the original Pirates of the Caribbean a year later when I first gazed upon her loveliness, but I haven't seen too many other films of hers if I'm honest. Sounds like a great excuse for a 'round-up' here at Red Parsley so let's get moving! Here are the first films I went for...

The Hole (2001)

I originally watched this because of Thora Birch - I hadn't even heard of Knightley at the time. It was one of her first films though, and she was only 15 when it was filmed. Appropriately, she plays a hottie schoolgirl - one of four students who apparently decide it would be a good idea to spend the weekend in an abandoned nuclear fallout shelter only to... !!SHOCK!!... get trapped! After some time spent partying and shagging Miss Knightley, they soon start getting increasingly scared over their predicament and inevitably turn on each other. Miss Knightley and Miss Birch are joined here by Daniel Brocklebank and Desmond Harrington, and all four do a decent enough job, although despite flashing her tits early on, Knightley probably gets the least focus of the four of them. Indeed, it's Birch's film really, her character is a bit of a nutcase, but she is very good here. The film itself is pretty good too - suspenseful, nicely claustrophobic, and with a couple of not-entirely-unexpected-but-effective-anyway twists near the end. A good one-time watch... 7/10

Film Round-Up #28

Amy Adams is considered by many one of the highest-profile actresses working today but when I actually stopped to think about it, as great as she is, I couldn't really think of too many big-name films of hers. I supposed therefore she also made her name with various smaller roles in lesser-known films, so I decided to use this as an excuse to gaze upon her loveliness while investigating. Here are the titles I went for:

Standing Still (2005)

Probably one of Ms. Adams' lesser known films is this rom-com in which she heads an ensemble cast also including Adam Garcia, her soon-to-be husband, Lauren German, her lesbian (and secret) ex-lover, as well as Aaron Stanford, Melissa Sagemiller, Jon Abrahams, Mena Suvari, James Van Der Beek, and Colin Hanks as various friends of the couple. The film follows the ladies and gents' respective parties the night before the wedding, and then the big day itself. There is of course the odd bit of strife here in there in the shape of an amorous ex-lover, a secret pregnancy, an unwelcome guest, and various other things to keep things interesting. Films like this, though, succeed or fail on the strength of their characters, and not many of the ones here are too appealing, unfortunately. They have their moments, sure, but few of their woes have the making of an emotionally-engaging film, and the laughs are few and far between too. Amy Adams is solid (if unspectacular) though... 5/10

Film Round-Up #27

Although she didn't really even get started until her 30's, the lovely Julianne Moore has nonetheless cemented her status since then as one of the finest actresses of her generation. Unlike many of her contemporaries, she continues to score lead roles into her 50's and (soon to be) beyond, and continues to be comfortable playing 'sexy older woman' type roles as well as the 'emotionally troubled women' she is perhaps best known for. She has been one of my favourite actresses since I first saw her in The Lost World and Boogie Nights back in 1997, and I continue to seek out her films to this day. Here is a selection of some of the ones I've watched recently:

Chloe (2009)

The oldest film in this round-up is this one which casts Ms. Moore as Catherine, an increasingly age-conscious wife who has begun to suspect her husband David (Liam Neeson) may be cheating. In an effort to confirm/quell her fears, she hires a young call girl she has observed from her office window who calls herself Chloe (Amanda Seyfried), and asks her to try and seduce David and report back. I expect you can guess how this goes, but it quickly becomes clear that Chloe prefers spending time with Catherine over David. Unfortunately, her interest seems abrupt and is never really explained which just makes it seem weird rather than compelling. Both lead performances are decent enough, particularly Moore as the conflicted Catherine, but the plot is too vexing to really be enjoyable. It's worth watching if you've ever wanted to see Moore or Seyfried getting down to some good old HLA, but it will most likely prove too bewildering otherwise... 5/10

Top Five Princess Leias

Those of you around my age will very likely have had at least some Star Wars figures lying around your bedrooms when you were growing up, specifically those from the range of 90-ish figures released by Kenner. I certainly have fond memories of them, even if I never quite managed to collect them all, and one character whose figures I seem to remember better than most is the lovely Princess Leia Organa.

This could be because she was one of my first crushes (especially after seeing Return of the Jedi - snigger!), even if none of her numerous figures really looked like her. Not that any plastic figure would be capable of capturing her beauty anyway (simper)! So here's a largely-pointless look at my five favourite Leia-guises and comparisons with the equivalent Kenner figures. Long may her illustrious hotness live on :)

5. Bespin Leia

The first chance Leia had to get out of her skanky Hoth outfit, have a shower, and enjoy a change of clothes, resulted in this arrangement, possibly chosen by the charming/slimy (delete as appropriate) Lando. I was never the biggest fan of this look, worn during her stay in Cloud City, but hey - it's still Leia!

Film Round-Up #25

Some say (notably my wife) that I have an unhealthy obsession with Heather Graham but that's not true at all, I just find her a naturally appealing actress. Sadly, it seems not too many of her films are particularly great, but I have been continuing to watch more of them in the hopes of finding a few hidden gems. Here is the latest selection, randomly chosen from her Wikipedia page (chuckle!)...

Committed (2000)

As we learn in the film's very first scene, Jo (Graham) is a committed person - a revelation she hits us with immediately prior to her white wedding. Flash forward a couple of years and she's doing pretty well. She has lots of friends, she runs a club, etc - only to find hubby has cleaned out his stuff and left her. Yes, you heard that right - a guy who was married to someone who looks exactly the same as Heather Graham... left her! ... *bewilderment* ... She would have to give me a judo-chop to the gentleman's region to get rid of me! Anyway, against most people's advice, Jo tracks down her errant spouse Carl (Luke Wilson) to try and win him back despite clear indications that he's not interested! ... *more bewilderment* ... She gets a bit of help along the way from her brother (Casey Affleck) and a few other interesting characters she meets, including Carl's new girlfriend (Patricia Velásquez), and thanks to this great cast, Committed is actually pretty enjoyable, perhaps aside from some questionable decisions made by Heather's character. She's still as appealing as ever though, and this is one of her better non-big-name films... 7/10

Top Five Heather Graham Outfits

As the few regular visitors here may well know, I've long had a bit of a thing for the lovely Heather Graham. She's unlikely to win an Oscar for her acting, I guess I can concede that, but she's a decent enough actress and has a natural charm that I find very appealing. Then there's her aesthetic qualities which are, frankly, remarkable. Not only that but she looks pretty much the same today as she did 25 years ago! Not sure what sort of witchcraft she practises to maintain those pleasing attributes but, luckily for us, she seems happy to let us continue appreciating them from afar. Here are some of my favourite outfits of hers from various events:

          5... Just Cavalli Soho Store Opening, 2013

Top Five Jennifers

Being something of a film fan (as well as certain types of TV shows) I noticed some time ago the surprising proliferation of actresses named Jennifer, going as far back as the 80's and perhaps beyond. I don't know too many Jennifers in real life - none, actually - so this struck me as a strange coincidence. Nonetheless, such is their prevalence I have occasionally given some thought to which of the many examples were my favourite. Behold, therefore, the fruits of my pointless musings:

5. Jennifer Carpenter

This is a Jennifer I have only recently discovered after watching Dexter all the way through, and her character of 'Deb' is easily one of the best in the show, even outshining Michael C. Hall's titular serial killer himself on numerous occasions. The talented actress brings many qualities to the character but, as fans of the show will already know very well, her most memorable moments are unquestionably thanks to her outrageous potty mouth! It's entirely possible that she's the sweariest character I've even witnessed in any TV show or film, which is quite an achievement when you think about it. Since then she has popped up here and there, mainly on the small screen and notably in the lead female role on the short-lived TV version of Limitless. Here's hoping we see more of her soon though.

Top Five Amy Adams Outfits

I seem to have found myself on a bit of an Amy Adams kick lately. Not due to her aesthetic qualities you understand - she's a very talented and engaging actress and most of her films are pretty superb too, generally - but it's impossible to avoid acknowledging that she's also a very beautiful woman. I also, coincidentally, found myself accidentally perusing pics of her online (chortle!) and noticed that she often has a tendency to wear somewhat eye-catching attire to her various premieres and award ceremonies and the like as well. Here are (possibly) the five best:

          5... Vanity Fair Oscar Party, 2015

Film Round-Up #12

For a long while now, Heather Graham has been one of my favourite actresses, but when I recently stopped to consider why, I wasn't really sure. She had a small but important role in the Favreau/Vaughn comedy, Swingers, before really getting her big break as Rollergirl in the fantastic Boogie Nights, soon followed by Felicity Shagwell in the second Austin Powers movie. But what else is there?

There is quite a bit actually but, sadly, as I've learnt over the years, not much of it is very good. So what is it I like about her then? Of course, it could be nothing more than a celebrity crush - she certainly is attractive and is ageing amazingly well (she is 46 now, believe it or not) but I think it's just as much her personality (as much as it can be determined without actually knowing her personally) - she seems to have a natural enthusiasm to her manner which is very appealing.

She's a pretty good actress too, and does about as well as she could with the roles she gets offered, but the films are usually quite poor. But are they all poor? Well, that's what I've been aiming to find out by watching (or re-watching, in some cases) more of the films that feature her at least fairly prominently. Let's just hope there were some corkers amongst the less compelling efforts...

Adrift in Manhattan (2007)

I've long been keen on indies so I'd hoped this little-known example might prove to be a hidden gem. It has an ensemble cast including Heather as Rose, a grieving mother whose two year-old son recently died in an accident, William Baldwin as her estranged husband, Dominic Chianese as an artist who has just learned he's losing his sight, and Victor Rasuk as Simon, a 20-year-old amateur photographer. They all live in New York and naturally their lives intersect here and there; much more so when Simon becomes obsessed with Rose and starts stalking her to take pictures of her. When he outs himself, however, she reacts in a surprising way, but while it goes some way to explaining her inability to let go, it doesn't really resolve anything. I suppose that's often the case with these 'slice of life' films but there's just something unsatisfying about Adrift. Heather does pretty well for me, reigning in her usual bright-eyed exuberance, but much of the meat of the film goes to Rasuk, who's great, and Chianese impresses with most of what's left. It's worth a watch if you fancy something a but more subdued than normal and have no better options, but don't expect to be bowled over... 5/10

Film Round-Up #11

She may not particularly popular among film fans but I've always been very keen on Jennifer Aniston (at least in part thanks to her always-prominent 'nippular area'). As she proved in Friends over the years, she's a talented comedic actress, but she is capable of more varied roles as well, such as slutty nympho, Julia Harris, in the Horrible Bosses films, and accident victim Claire in this year's Cake.

Most of her work has ended up being in sub-standard romantic comedies though, and while a bit of light-hearted fluff is fine in moderation, she has often seemed stuck in a rut, or even a downwards spiral into oblivion as harsher critics might claim. Here I've taken a look, bravely, some might say, at a selection of her films in the hopes of finding a gem or two amongst the generic rom-coms and other bits and pieces:

Along Came Polly (2004)

One of her first post-Friends films, and it's unsurprisingly a rom-com featuring Jen opposite the usually-decent Ben Stiller (Reuben) who's just broken up with his wife after she cheated on him on the first day of their honeymoon. While he's moping around, however... along came Polly (Aniston) as the title suggests! Polly is a free-spirited, rather directionless ex-classmate of Reuben's whom he starts dating, and her laid-back attitude helps him overcome his neuroses and venture outside his 'safe' comfort zone. That is until his estranged wife (Debra Messing) returns seeking a reunion, obviously. It's silly, predictable nonsense as it probably sounds really, but I still couldn't help but enjoy it anyway. Stiller and Aniston's characters are likeable and they have some decent support from Philip Seymour Hoffman and Missi Pyle as the respective 'best friends', and there are some good laughs amongst the more corny stuff. Not everything works but this isn't nearly as bad an effort as some claim... 7/10

Top Five Star Trek Babes

Ah, good old Star Trek. Most people seem to either love it or hate it. I'm definitely in the former category, as long-time visitors to this page must already know, and there are many reasons that I like all its various incarnations. The epic and never-ending adventure of space exploration offers almost infinite possibilities and can incorporate near enough any genre as well, from emotional drama to kick-ass action, but another thing Star Trek has apparently become known for, chiefly by its male-dominated fan-base, is the lovely ladies that comprise parts of the various casts.

Of course, almost all of them are far more than just eye-candy. Their characters are just as complex as their male counterparts and are just as important as well, holding equal status and frequently being found in positions of authority, but only a fool would suggest they're not nice to look at. Well, for people of the relevant sexualities at least, and I don't think there's anything wrong with appreciating a lady's aesthetic qualities in addition to her less visually-obvious attributes. Accordingly, Trekkies (or Trekkers if you prefer) have many opinions on this subject, like most others, but here are my personal favourites from over the years:

5 - Jadzia Dax (Terry Farrell)

Noticing Ms. Farrell's beauty is not something the producers of Deep Space Nine shied away from - her Trill character was ogled and chased by half the males on the station, human and alien alike, and the fact that she had a giant sentient slug living inside her which bestowed upon her the memories and experiences of its previous occupants (including several men) didn't seem to put most of them off either. I guess it's not hard to see why though. Not only is she clearly very attractive but she's also six foot tall, positively brimming with confidence, and is happy to flirt with just about anyone who shows her attention. Of course, it didn't hurt her case that she had a girl/girl 'moment' in a fourth season episode either!

Top Five Fast and Furious Babes

As my last film-related Top Five post probably indicated, I'm quite keen on the Fast and the Furious series. Despite how silly they might be, laughably so at times, I suppose they must still have just the right balance of things I like - appealing characters, explosive action, top soundtracks, and lots of nice stuff to look at. This includes all the crazy customised cars that litter the series, obviously, and I'm sure the ladies can appreciate the various male stars, but for me and other such fans the many and varied girlies are right at the top of that list. Satisfyingly for feminists, no doubt, they're not just there to look pretty either - most of them get just as much to do as the guys - the fact that they look nice while doing it is just a bonus! To that end, here are my favourites from the series (so far):

Spoiler Alert: the movie-related Top Fives featured here obviously assume that you've seen the films in question or don't mind knowing about their most prominent moments so don't come whining to me if they ruin a film that you haven't seen yet!

5 - Gisele (Gal Gadot)

Introduced in the fourth film as an ex-Mossad agent and then the antagonist's bit of stuff, Gisele soon develops an interest in Dominic. He isn't interested of course, having only just discovered the death of his girlfriend, but it doesn't stop her warning him of imminent danger at the film's climax; a gesture repaid when Dominic saves her life. From thereon in she becomes a member of Dom's team, before long hooking up with the ever-munchy Han, forming a mighty useful team in the process. Happily, she's also featured in all subsequent films too. Hooray!

Top Five Baywatch Babes

I don't know if we'd all admit it but I'm pretty sure we've all watched our fair share of Baywatch during its lengthy run. Granted, it did regularly tackle some very important social and political issues but there were also a few less profound reasons to watch it as well. These reasons were often found in pairs and encased in bright red lycra but usually spent the better part of their time there trying to escape the accommodating but restrictive confines of the thin material. Every viewer of this show, whether secret or otherwise, undoubtedly had their favourites, but here are my five personal picks, and indeed the bodies they're attached to:

5 - Yasmine Bleeth

Top Five Kylie Photoshoots

Kylie Minogue... For many of us she's been with us since we saw her fixing up her old Mini back in the heyday of Neighbours, or at least since we were swamped by the out-pourings of Stock, Aitken, and Waterman through the late 80's and into the 90's, but even her biggest detractors would have to admit she's persistent, remaining as popular now as ever after nearly around 25 years in show business. However, just as her biggest critics would begrudgingly give her her dues, her biggest fans would be hard-pushed to claim her enduring fame and success is down to raw talent either. She certainly has some talent, but a big part of her success could also be largely put down to her... *ahem*... physical attributes! Luckily for her many fans, she has rarely seemed shy about giving us a closer look, apparently quite happily getting her kit off to some degree or other on a large number of occasions. To that end, here I've selected her Top Five photoshoots. Hope you enjoy! ;)

5. Tous Spring/Summer 2009 Collection

She's wearing an uncharacteristically large amount of clothes in this advertising campaign, photographed by Ellen von Unwerth, and I don't generally have much love for loads of make-up, but this is a particularly stylish shoot with Kylie looking a mixture of elegant and sultry.

Top Five Lady Gaga Outfits

Every time someone like this comes along, I usually take an automatic disliking to them. I don't know why. Perhaps it's a fear of being 'one of the flock', i.e. liking things, or pretending to like things, just to be fit in or be popular, leading in turn to a natural resistance to 'cool' and 'trendy' things. More than that though, most of these trends are generally so stupid I can't understand how they became popular to start with! Often, one of the biggest indications that someone/something 'new' has come along is that crappy tabloids like The Sun start saturating coverage of them. And so it was with Lady Gaga. She'd been all over the tabloids, gossip magazines, and TV for many months before I heard any of her music, so it came as a pretty big surprise when I finally did, that she's actually pretty good!

Songs like Paparazzi, Poker Face, Bad Romance, and Just Dance are catchy and infectious numbers in themselves, but Ms Gaga isn't just about the music, oh no. She's like a one-woman circus, and, ridiculous or not, her costumes have started making bigger headlines than her music! It's strange too. Based at least partly on them, I always assumed she would be one of those loud-mouthed, obnoxious, profanity-spewing 'rock stars', but she her image apparently belies her demeanour. On a rare occasion I saw something on TV, I saw her accepting an award of some sort, and she's actually (or appears to be) a humble, softly-spoken, gracious lady. It's so annoying seeing some of these stars trying their hardest to be all 'rock & roll', so it was a nice, refreshing change to see how she is. However, those outfits of hers do defy belief sometimes. She's actually pretty attractive, but you wouldn't guess it from some of the things she wears. She must spend all of her earnings having them made! When 'researching' this Top Five, I found more than 25 costumes of hers you could at least call 'unorthodox', but here are my five favourites:

5