TV Shows #33

A Teacher (2020)
Developed By: Hannah Fidell
Starring: Kate Mara, Nick Robinson, Ashley Zukerman, Shane Harper, Marielle Scott, Dylan Schmid, Adam David Thompson, Jana Peck, Rya Ingrid Kihlstedt

Certificate: 18 Running Time: 21-30 Minutes per Episode (approx), 10 Episodes

I guess it's a dangerous subject to even talk about these days but I'm sure most of us had the hots for a teacher or two back in our school days. I know I did! For the overwhelming majority of us, that's as far as it ever goes, of course, which is as it should be. Startlingly, however, that is not as far as it goes in this FX miniseries which stars Nick Robinson as Eric, a 17 year old student who becomes infatuated with Claire, his 32 year old English teacher. Claire is played by Kate Mara who is, dare I say it, rather attractive. I know it automatically makes me a misogynistic pig for acknowledging that, but she is, so it's not hard to see why Eric finds her appealing. Apparently unaware of this, after a chance encounter outside of school, she offers to tutor him for his SATs. After a couple of study sessions and a probably-unwise guided tour of her old university where Eric is hoping to study, he tries to kiss her.

Licensed Games #5

Robocop (1988)
By: Data East Genre: Platform/Fighting/Shooting Players: 1 Difficulty: Medium-Hard
Featured Version: Arcade First Day Score: 56,800 (one credit)
Also Available For: NES, Game Boy, PC, Amiga, Atari ST, MSX, Commodore 64, Amstrad CPC, ZX Spectrum, Apple II, TRS-80

In my younger years when much of my gaming was done on my trusty Speccy, many of the biggest and most successful games, or at least most hyped games, were adapted from major movies of the time. A lot of these sucked donkey balls, naturally, and were rightly derided, but I always remember one of them being a monster smash hit that topped the Speccy sales charts for many, many months. It was a game based on one of the best movies of its time which starred Peter Weller as a slain cop who was given a new lease of life after being repaired/augmented by electronic devices and assorted mechanical doodads. This would, I believe, make him a cyborg rather than a robot, so technically the film should've been called Cybercop, but name inaccuracies aside, it was a bit of a stonker. The tie-in game was originally found in arcades which was a little unusual, and as good as the Speccy version was, it can't have been as good as the arcade version, surely? Sadly, I didn't find out as I never encountered it.

Spectrum Round-Up #2

Budget games were great, a real lifeline for kids my age back in the mid-to-late-80s. I fondly recall my good friend Luke and I frequently visiting our local Blockbuster video store and browsing the rack of budget games they had for sale, but both there and featured heavily in the magazines that covered the 8-bit micros at the time were games bearing the name of Joe Blade, but for some reason I never played them. They are a trilogy of flick-screen arcade adventures - a type of game that appeals to me, and they were always near the top of the budget charts and were well received by most of the magazines too, so I really don't know why I never gave them a try. Time, then, for this pitiful blog to do its job once again. Behold:

Joe Blade (1987)

This first instalment sees Joe as a lone commando sent into an enemy fortress to rescue six hostages, then set a few bombs, and escape before they blow. Sounds like a cinch! There are guards patrolling most rooms though, and you have limited ammo for your machine gun. Luckily you can pick up more as well as keys, guards uniforms (temporary invincibility), and food to replenish Joe's health metre which depletes rapidly from contact with guards or other enemies. You will also find the aforementioned bombs here and there (there are six in total). Touching one brings up a mini-game where you have to put letters in the right order. If you do, you'll have 20 minutes to find the other bombs and arm them in a similar way before escaping. If you don't, the bomb will blow, killing you. It's a good idea to find the hostages before messing about with these! It's simple like most budget games, but the monochrome graphics are really nice (colours change now and then), there are tons of screens, it's good fun to play, and would be addictive enough anyway, but the placement of all the items (hostages, bombs, pick-ups) is randomised every time you play which makes it even more addictive, not to mention great value for money... 8/10

Film Review #125

Gladiator II (2024)
Director: Ridley Scott Starring: Paul Mescal, Denzel Washington, Pedro Pascal, Connie Nielsen, Joseph Quinn, Fred Hechinger, Lior Raz, Derek Jacobi

Certificate: 15 Running Time: 148 Minutes

I'm sure I'm not alone in thinking Gladiator is one of the best films ever made. Chances are, if you are reading this, you've seen it and have your own opinion and you probably think it's at least half decent. There has been word of a potential sequel since the original film was still showing on the big screen, and several possible story ideas were floated, but I never thought any of them sounded like they could possibly live up to the first. The idea seemed to get forgotten and it was probably for the best. BUT THEN!! After many years of silence it was not only back on but had been cast and was being filmed, with Ridley Scott in the driving seat once more! It seemed like years of silence, anyway, but maybe I just wasn't paying attention. In any case, it seems one of the first story ideas proposed 20+ years ago would form the premise behind this much-belated sequel. Unlike some, I don't mind these so-called 'legacy sequels' we've been getting in recent years but I was worried it would completely fail to live up to the original. Was I right? Probably not but let's find out.

NES Shmups #6

Over Horizon (1991)
By: Hot B Genre: Shooting Players: 1 Difficulty: Medium
Featured Version: Nintendo NES First Day Score: 322,860
Also Available For: Nothing

I used to greatly enjoy reading the multi-format games magazines back in the 80s and early 90s and getting a taste of what delights were available to lucky owners of systems I did not own. Sometimes it could be frustrating, admittedly, and other times it gave me ammo for mocking said owners, but now and then, seemingly unremarkable games from these pages would get stuck in my head forever. Many of them were NES examples since I never owned it in its day, nor knew anyone who did (it wasn't popular here in the UK for some reason), and one such game that has been making its presence well known in my brain lately is Over Horizon which I have oddly-specific memories of seeing in the mighty Mean Machines magazine. As I recall, it received only a mediocre reception from Jaz and the gang, but, as sacrilegious as this may sound, I've become aware increasingly in my advancing years of just how often their opinions did not necessarily correspond with mine. Let's see if this is another example of that!

Film vs Book #2

A Good Year (2004 - book, 2006 - film)

Book By: Peter Mayle Film Directed By: Ridley Scott Starring: Russell Crowe, Albert Finney, Marion Cotillard, Tom Hollander, Freddie Highmore, Abbie Cornish, Didier Bourdon, Isabelle Candelier, Archie Panjabi, Valeria Bruni Tedeschi

Certificate: PG Length: 118 Minutes / 245 pages

Tagline: "Everything matures... eventually" (both film and book)

This might seem like a slightly strange choice for inclusion in this feature, especially so early, but the film has long been one of my favourites despite getting a bit of a critical roasting, and it actually has comparable beginnings to Contact, the first film/book in this series of posts. The story is set in Provence in southeastern France where director Ridley Scott owns a property and had long wanted to make a film. He turned to author Peter Mayle, an acquaintance who had written several books set in the region, but Mayle didn't want to write the screenplay for Scott. He did, however, think Scott's ideas had the makings of a good book, so they agreed that he would write the book and Scott would secure the film rights and produce an adaptation henceforth. I'm not sure how successful the book was but sadly the film didn't do especially well, even with some talented names in the cast list, and is now considered a box office bomb.

Game Gallery #9

It has once again been far too long since I did one of these gallery posts - something I must address henceforth - but they were mainly intended to showcase big name games of the past, in any case. Then why am I using this gallery post to showcase a Speccy homebrew game that, to my knowledge, not many people know about, you probably aren't asking. Well, because 1) I like it, and 2) it has pretty graphics for a Speccy game - a wonderful system, but one for which colours are not often seen in huge numbers. Check out the colours here, especially the borders of each level.

Maze Games #15

Druid (1986)
By: Electralyte Software / Firebird Genre: Maze Players: 1-2 Difficulty: Medium
Featured Version: Atari 8-bit First Day Score: Acolyte
Also Available For: Commodore 64, Amstrad CPC, ZX Spectrum, MSX2, Tatung Einstein, Famicom Disk System

Like many games of its time, Druid was released on a wide variety of systems including the Speccy, my old favourite of the time. Instead of looking at that version for this here review, however, and even ignoring an excuse to do another review on my newest favourite system, the MSX2, I decided to take a look at what was, to my knowledge, the original version, and on a system I've never played a single game on before. Well, I say 'system' but it's actually a number of systems that fall under the 'Atari 8-bit' umbrella, but more on that another time. For now, let's concentrate on the splendidly-named game in question which recently returned to my brain after many moons away. I don't think I even heard about it in its day, in fact, and few details have reached my ears since, so I was quite excited to recently learn that it's apparently like Gauntlet.

TV Shows #32

Constellation Season One (2024)
Developed By: Peter Harness
Starring: Noomi Rapace, Jonathan Banks, James D'Arcy, Rosie Coleman, Davina Coleman, William Catlett, Julian Looman, Barbara Sukowa, Henry David, Sandra Teles, Carole Weyers

Certificate: 15 Running Time: 50-58 Minutes per Episode (approx), 8 Episodes

Tagline: "Reality is a conspiracy"

I've never been particularly good at reviewing films and TV shows but I can at least usually explain the backstory concisely enough without giving away spoilers. Then a show like this comes along where even attempting to outline the basic premise is likely to result in a spoiler (or several)! It's a show that was recommended to me and one I was immediately interested in because... sci-fi. At first it seemed like it might be a reasonably normal such thriller, too. It stars Noomi Rapace, who I have previously not seen in anything, as Johanna Ericsson, a Swedish ESA astronaut aboard the International Space Station. She has a husband and daughter at home with whom she is chatting when... SUDDENLY!!... Shaking, alarms, loss of power... something has collided with the ISS and it has caused havoc!

PS4 Purchases #14

Mass Effect - Legendary Edition by 11 Bit Studios / Dead Mage (2019)

I was going to start this post by saying that anyone who knows me knows that Star Control 2 is my favourite game of all time, but then I remembered that my wife of 16 years wouldn't be able to tell you that if you held a gun to her head! But anyway, it is, and its many other fans often ask each other for recommendations of other games that remind them of SC2. One of the names that keeps cropping up in these discussions is Mass Effect - a game/series famous enough for even me to have heard of it. I've never played any of them, naturally, but I've long wanted to. I nearly bought the trilogy boxset for my PS3 but found it a bit pricey, so upon hearing about a remastered version of the first three games for PS4, I swiftly wishlisted it, and soon after procured it for just twenty English pounds.

Crap Games #14

Rigel's Revenge (1987)
By: Smart Egg Software / Mastertronic Genre: Text Adventure Players: 1 Difficulty: Medium
Featured Version: ZX Spectrum First Day Score: 16/50
Also Available For: Amstrad CPC, Commodore 64

Unlike most of the games so far in this feature, I never saw Rigel's Revenge getting slated in reviews of the day. I don't remember even seeing any coverage of it at all, in fact, and I found out many years later that it was actually very well received, so why is it here? Well, that's entirely down to me and my good friend Luke, I'm afraid. It was a cheapie budget release which we both had for our respective 8-bit micros (Speccy for me, CPC for him) and we both hated it. I'm not even sure why if I'm honest, but I recall Luke once angrily refusing to even acknowledge it as a legitimate computer game! With advancing years comes a more mature and rational mindset, however (in theory, at least), not to mention an enthusiastic appreciation of the 80s and the games released during that glorious decade, so after recently remembering this game randomly, I decided to give it another try to see if it really has sucked all these years, or if Luke and I were just idiotic youths without any taste.

TV Shows #30 - Part 2

Reacher Season Two (2023)
Developed By: Nick Santora
Starring: Alan Ritchson, Maria Sten, Serinda Swan, Shaun Sipos, Ferdinand Kingsley, Robert Patrick, Domenick Lombardozzi

Certificate: 15 Running Time: 42-56 Minutes per Episode, 8 Episodes

Whether you were already a fan of the Jack Reacher books or not, I don't think there were many people who weren't enthused by Alan Ritchson's already-iconic portrayal of the title character in the first season of Amazon's adaptation. The Cruise films were good as films but I now see they weren't so good as Reacher films. The first season of the show was. Well, a good adaptation. You know what I mean. Part of the reason for this was the impact of Ritchson's portrayal; the 'Holy crap, look at this guy!' factor, if you will. Seeing him scare a lairy guy into obsequiousness with a stare; sussing a murder crime scene before the lead detective has even had time to get a coffee; taking out a room full of violent criminals without breaking a sweat. Up until the first season, most of us didn't know what he was capable of. Now we do know, so the big question is: since the second season loses this aspect, amongst other things, can it possibly be as good and as satisfying as the first?

Steam / GOG Downloads #9

1001 Spikes (2014)
By: Nicalis, Inc. Genre: Platform Players: 1-4 Difficulty: Hard
Featured Version: PC
Also Available For: PS4, Vita, Xbox One, Nintendo 3DS, Wii U, Mac

I can't recall how I first came upon this game but pixelly platformers always catch my eye, and it wasn't long before this example reminded me of a specific, not to mention notorious game from the 80s. Can you guess which one from the screenshots here? Yes, that's right, it's Rick Dangerous! If you've ever played Core Design's game you'll know exactly what that means, but if you haven't, allow me to explain. I believe in general terms the genre is known as 'precision platformer' but in the case of Rick Dangerous, it would be better described as 'cheap death platformer'. Cheap deaths are generally frowned upon in the gaming world but it didn't stop Rick Dangerous from being pretty popular. Does this much newer game from Nicalis Inc. share its appeal? Let's find out :)

MSX Round-Up #3

I guess this makes me a bit of a weirdo, but one of the most memorable things about Golvellius for me was Randar, the awesome shopkeeper. This might seem to suggest that Golvellius sucks ass but it is a mighty splendid game, particularly the versions for the MSX2 and the mighty Master System. But in spite of its splendour, I still carry with me joyful memories of the cheerful blue fellow in addition to fond memories of the game itself. I guess I just like cute/amusing/weird characters in games!

As you've probably already seen for yourself, Randar is basically a blue sphere with rudimentary feet and a perpetually happy face. Well, I assume he's a sphere - I guess he could be a two-dimensional blue circle, but he is awesome nonetheless. He is friendly and helpful and his warm personality could brighten up the gloomiest day. He even speaks in a semi-medieval stylee! Such is my affection for this odd character, imagine my happiness, not to mention surprise, when I found out he had his own entire games! Three of them! Which he alone was the star of! Unfortunately, I also soon found that they're all RPGs of all things - a genre I admire but seldom play.

Film Review #124

Road House (2024)
Director: Doug Liman Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Daniela Melchior, Billy Magnussen, Conor McGregor, Jessica Williams, Joaquim de Almeida, Austin Post

Certificate: 15 Running Time: 121 Minutes

Tagline: "Take it outside"

Only a few weeks ago my good friend Luke came to visit me for a few days. We don't see each other often these days so we had decided in advance on a few old classic films we wanted to watch while he was visiting and one of them was Road House. It was a popular film with our generation, of course, but I realised that it must've been at least 25-odd years since I'd seen it. Even more surprisingly, I found that I still knew a lot of the dialogue to the point where I could recite lines before they were spoken! Anyway, it was great to see it again after all this time, and it was great to see Luke again too. We watched a few other films, then he left and I got back to the various shows I'm watching on my streaming services... BUT THEN!! What did I see? Road House was showing on the bit at the top of the screen where Amazon spams new stuff, and then I vaguely remembered hearing something about an upcoming remake, but I'd forgotten all about it. Should I risk watching it?